Jokes: Joke

In the year 2005, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in Malibu, California in the United States, and said, "Once again, the earth has become wicked and over-populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me. Build another Ark and save 2 of every living thing along with a few good humans." ... (Read More)

An eccentric philosophy professor gave a one question final exam after a semester dealing with a broad array of topics.  The class was already seated and ready to go when the professor picked up his chair, plopped it on his desk and wrote on the board: ...... "Using everything we have learned this semester, prove that this chair does not exist."  F... (Read More)

Twelve priests were about to be ordained. ... (Read More)

Schwarzenegger likes to call his opponents "Girlie-men" and Beatty, once Hollywood's most famous "ladies man," says he is unafraid of either the nickname or the movie action hero who happily killed an alligator in one scene and declared, "You're luggage." ... (Read More)

They're still laughing about this at IBM.  Apparently the computer giant decided to have some parts manufactured in Japan as a trial project.  In the specifications, they stated that they will only accept three defective parts per 10,000. ... (Read More)

A fellow walked into his doctor's office, complaining that he thinks he might have a tapeworm. The doctor made a physical examination and listened to the symptoms, and concurred with the self-diagnosis. "I want you to come back tomorrow to start treatment. And bring a banana and a cookie with you." said the doctor. Despite the see... (Read More)

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I promise you cannot read these and not laugh and maybe  out loud. These are REAL notes written by PARENTS in a Tennessee school district... (Spellings have been left intact.) 1-- MY SON IS UNDER A DOCTOR'S CARE AND SHOULD NOT TAKE PE TODAY. PLEASE EXECUTE HIM. 2-- PLEASE EXKUCE LISA FOR BEING ABSENT SHE WAS SICK AND I HAD HE... (Read More)

Bert took his Saint Bernard to the vet. "Doctor," he said sadly, "I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to cut off my dog's tail." The vet stepped back, "Bert, why should I do such a terrible thing?" "Because my mother-in-law's arriving tomorrow, and I don't want anything to make her think she's welcome."

The earth may spin faster on its axis due to deforestation.  Just as a figure skater's rate of spin increases when the arms are brought in close to the body, the cutting of tall trees may cause our planet to spin dangerously fast.