Jokes: Joke

A shipwreck occurs. The survivors swim from the ship to a nearby island. Two Englishmen swim ashore and go to opposite ends of the island because they have not been properly introduced. Two Germans swim ashore and set out to build an autobahn to connect the extreme parts of the island. Two Americans swim ashore and open up a fast food chain. Two... (Read More)

Scene: It's a fine sunny day in the forest, and a rabbit is sitting outside his burrow, tippy-tapping on his typewriter. Along comes a fox, out for a walk. Fox: "What are you working on?" Rabbit: "My thesis." Fox: "Hmm... What is it about?" Rabbit: "Oh, I'm writing about how rabbits eat foxes." Fox: "That's ridiculous! Any fool knows... (Read More)

Before you criticize someone, ... (Read More)

Includes a mention of Ayn Rand. ... (Read More)

Let’s put tax cuts in terms everyone can understand. Suppose that every day 10 men go out for dinner every night. The bill for all ten comes to $100. If it was paid the way we pay our taxes, the first four men would pay nothing; the fifth would pay $1; the sixth would pay $3; the seventh $7; the eighth $12, the ninth $18. The tenth man (the richest... (Read More)

Achmed, the Dead Terrorist (Read More)

1. If you're choking on an ice cube simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat. Presto! The blockage will instantly remove itself. 2. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold while you chop. 3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink. 4. For h... (Read More)

"...outside the ordered universe that amorphous blight of nethermost confusion which blasphemes and bubbles at the center of all infinity..." The above is: a.) Horror writer H. P. Lovecraft's characterization of a monster he invented, Azathoth. b.) A very accurate description of the mental state of college students have after... (Read More)

An Amish farmer walking through his cow pasture notices a man drinking from his pond with his right hand. The Amish man shouts: 'Trink das Wasser nicht! Die Kuhen haben dahin gescheissen!' The man shouts back: 'I'm a Muslim, I don't understand. Please speak in English.' The Amish man says: 'Use both hands, you'll get more.' (T... (Read More)

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