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Post 160

Tuesday, August 11, 2009 - 2:55pmSanction this postReply
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Vera,

Have you ever read the case file of a child who's been the victim of pedophilia?  I have. Several of them, in fact.

Pedophilia isn't a "sexuality" any more than schizophrenia is "personality."



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Post 161

Tuesday, August 11, 2009 - 11:57pmSanction this postReply
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Teresa:
i've not only read several such case-files, i'm also a victim of my dad's and granddad's myself (my brothers, too, so it was definitely the 'child' thing that got those bastards turned on) - so i can tell you from first-hand experience what it feels like and what devastating effects it had on my life
i was however trying to establish a little wider definition of pedophilia (lit. child love), as all accounts to date are much like johns definition: 'children have no idea about sexuality which consists of straight fucking' - if that's the definition you want to go by, then i'll readily agree with you that pedophilia would be immoral and i'm in no way defending that - same goes for schizophrenia (lit. split soul) or multiple personalities: in the medical definition of a 'disorder that negatively affects my life' i'd agree with you, but not every added personality is necessarily a disorder or impeding my rationality or blowing my life to pieces
i do not agree with that definition because children before and after puberty have their own sexuality and it would warrant further investigation what both are like - only then can we discuss what kind of sexual relations adults could possibly have with them and which are moral or immoral - even your definition of 'straight fucking' would have to be reexamined from what personal development (physical, emotional, psychological) onward it would be acceptable after puberty or do they have to wait until they are fully grown adults (which is when?)? care to elaborate your guidelines?
the added benefit of a child-oriented definition of such sexuality would also be that children are more aware, and more confident, of their own sexualities (plural - there's not just one), so adults could not 'pray on the innocenct' - and they'd grow up into sexually responsible adults who'd understand childrens sexuality and treat them accordingly, instead of turning into 'classic pedophilia' cases because they were stunted as children themselves
VSD
ps for the negativity hounds: no i do not advertise 'classic pedophilia', no i do not defend it because i was a victim myself (was being the keyword if you have any idea what i'm talking about), no i do not want to force sexual awareness on children ... so get off my case unless you want to have an objective discussion

Post 162

Wednesday, August 12, 2009 - 3:21amSanction this postReply
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i was however trying to establish a little wider definition of pedophilia (lit. child love),

Why? What's the point?  Why would this concept get such a negative reputation if all it means is "child love?"  Should a new concept be developed to define an abnormal sexual arousal involving children, or can we just keep the one the whole world's been using for 100 years?  


Post 163

Wednesday, August 12, 2009 - 3:53amSanction this postReply
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so if you want to stay with the clinical definition, then what would you call all other forms of 'child-love'? and why coin a new phrase if we can redeem a word that at it's core has nothing to do with the negative aspects it was used for over the centuries?
almost all non-standard sexualities have the same negativity attached to their names before they are reclaimed and deemed respectable or even used with pride for sth beautiful - or is heterosexuality only straight fucking and nothing else (to keep harping on that narrow definition)?
as for the non-semantic points in my post: do you think we should not make childrens sexuality a part of this discussion about the morality of sexuality? or would you only prefer to discuss it under another definition (which one)?
VSD

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Post 164

Wednesday, August 12, 2009 - 2:34pmSanction this postReply
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Vera:

much like johns definition: 'children have no idea about sexuality which consists of straight fucking' - if that's the definition you want to go by, then i'll readily agree with you that pedophilia would be immoral and i'm in no way defending that


I have no idea why you keep wanting to reduce my argument of what pedophilia is as being strictly heterosexual intercourse in it's nature. Why you are reducing it to that I have no idea and I'm finding it a bit bizarre. I am by no means limiting the immorality to just that specific kind of sexual interaction, it is immoral to have any kind of sexual contact with a child, period. Whether that is homosexual, heterosexual, intercourse, sodomy, lewd sexual conduct (like masturbation in the presence of a child) WHATEVER, it's all immoral to do this with a child. Why? Because they do not have the same capacity for understanding actions and their consequences as an adult would, so they cannot give consent. We assume an individual is free to make choices if they have the capacity to understand what is in their best interests, meaning they understand what the actions are and their consequences, to which you even agree children need to be 'taught' the consequences of actions. People are not born with the knowledge and maturity necessary to make those kinds of decisions. That's why children don't have full rights in society, that's why the criminal justice system does not hold a child to the same kinds of criminal punishments as they do for an adult.

You act as if the criminal evaluation of pedophilia is somehow divorced from the moral evaluation of it. There is a reason why pedophiliac behavior is illegal, because it is immoral, the same why theft is illegal, because it is immoral to steal. Why? Because it is a violation of rights, or more generally, it is anti-life behavior. Laws, at least ones that are just, are derived from morality.

i do not agree with that definition because children before and after puberty have their own sexuality and it would warrant further investigation what both are like -


There have been countless studies on this already. No need to reinvent the wheel here. We know how harmful it is for the child. If you think there is some evidence contrary to what has already been established, then you need to back up that claim. If you think there hasn't been 'enough' studies on the subject, by what standard of evaluation did you use to come to that conclusion? Are you privy to information that the rest of us don't have?

Post 165

Wednesday, August 12, 2009 - 4:03pmSanction this postReply
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What John said.

There is no moral ambiguity regarding pedophilia. To claim otherwise flies in the face of the facts, and the idea of morality itself.


Post 166

Thursday, August 13, 2009 - 4:07amSanction this postReply
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oh no - you show me the facts, the studies, that prove that any and every sexual act involving a child must be harmful and immoral and nothing else is possible - please include facts why it is harmful for a child to learn about it's own sexuality
and forget about the laws - there's so many immoral laws (especially regarding sexuality) that half my life must be illegal if i want to live a moral life
VSD

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Post 167

Thursday, August 13, 2009 - 10:31amSanction this postReply
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Vera,

Do you think that what happened to you as a child at the hands of your father, grandfather and brothers was immoral and should have been illegal? And if so, by what standard -- by what moral principle?

- Bill
(Edited by William Dwyer on 8/13, 10:32am)


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Post 168

Thursday, August 13, 2009 - 11:35amSanction this postReply
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Vera:

oh no - you show me the facts, the studies, that prove that any and every sexual act involving a child must be harmful and immoral and nothing else is possible -


This is an absurd standard of proof since it would require conducting studies on every single child ever that has been molested. It's not even possible, not just in this case but for any scientific study on any subject. Science doesn't work like that, we don't need to study the effects of gravity on every single object that has mass in the universe to come up with the laws of gravity. But if a preponderance of evidence shows how harmful child molestation is, then we've met a reasonable standard of proof.

please include facts why it is harmful for a child to learn about it's own sexuality


Vera, please stay focused, learning about sexuality and having sex are two different things. Teaching a child about the consequences of sex (assuming they are mature enough to even understand the subject matter) is not the same thing as having sex with that child!


and forget about the laws - there's so many immoral laws (especially regarding sexuality) that half my life must be illegal if i want to live a moral life


That's why I focused the argument on "just" laws, not just "any" kind of law. I was not making an intrinsic argument that anything that is illegal is therefore immoral, I said the criminal evaluation for pedophilia is borne out of the moral evaluation of it.

Post 169

Thursday, August 13, 2009 - 1:15pmSanction this postReply
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Bill:
by the standard of force! neither me nor my brothers wanted what was done to us, but we could not defend ourselves against them - neither physically nor through appealing to others ... so this case was indeed immoral and should be stopped - yet sadly this happens way too often - especially in heterosexual nuclear families without a larger 'support-group' for the child - you'd be surprised in how many 'nice families'
yet i still stand by my point that if i had had more knowledge, my mother had understood better what was going on, even my father understanding childrens' sexuality, then none of this would have happened

John:
still no proof, no facts, no studies, no statistics ... and what's a 'just law'? one you deem 'justified' by your moral standards? i might disagree - so is it just?

VSD

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Post 170

Thursday, August 13, 2009 - 3:56pmSanction this postReply
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When do you suppose the average child becomes sexually aware? 6,10?  What is the nature of that awareness?  I can tell you that a child's sexual awareness is singular and has nothing to do with a social context at all.  Other people have nothing to do with it. A child's sexual awareness develops at the same time and rate as his/her self awareness.

I'm all for educating children about their bodies, but I'm not in favor of introducing children to the idea of being "sexual" until they can at least formulate a question about it. 

 The nature of children is 100% non sexual, unless they've been introduced to it in an un-natural fashion. Not everything in sex is good, or natural. Not everything people feel is good, or natural.

Children are emotional, but non-sexual.  Impulsive, but non-sexual.  Quick to learn, but non-sexual. Even an abused child who acts out sexually isn't acting out as an expression of his/her "sexuality," but quite the opposite of that.

When children act out sexually, that's a bad thing.  It means there's been a disconnection in self awareness somewhere.


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Post 171

Thursday, August 13, 2009 - 4:54pmSanction this postReply
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Vera:

John:
still no proof, no facts, no studies, no statistics ...


It's such a prevalent issue in today's society that's been talked about a lot I thought it was pretty much considered common knowledge it is incredibly harmful to children. Here's a wikipedia entry with 183 citations you can look up yourself for the facts it presents on the psychological harm child sexual abuse inflicts on a child.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Child_sexual_abuse

Now sine you are the one with the fringe idea that some form of pedophiliac behavior is moral, prove *your* case. As one of my heroes Carl Sagan said, extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence. And you are making an extraordinary claim, the burden of proof is on you.

and what's a 'just law'? one you deem 'justified' by your moral standards? i might disagree - so is it just?


A "just" law is one that serves to protect the rights of the individual, how that is determined is by the facts of reality, not your own subjective whim. Just because you disagree doesn't mean you are right.

But to clarify what I meant in the last post, not everything that is immoral should be illegal. What should be illegal is the violation of someone's rights, that is if someone initiates the use of force against another. And child molestation meets that criteria, since a child does not have the maturity to consent to sex, having sex with a child is using force against that child, because the child does not have the maturity to understand what consent is, it therefore should be and thankfully it is illegal.

Bill wrote:

Do you think that what happened to you as a child at the hands of your father, grandfather and brothers was immoral and should have been illegal? And if so, by what standard -- by what moral principle?
.

Bill asks the appropriate question. And I believe it is clear that Vera has no moral principles on the issues of sex, or at least nothing coherent. What she deems immoral or moral is entirely dependent upon her own subjective whims. It happened to her, and it was immoral, and that to her is enough of a justification, because she said so, not because it actually reflects any kind of objective criteria for what is or isn't immoral. She said force was used, yet how could there possibly be a situation where a child could consent to something they lack the maturity to understand? Here her appeal to force is inconsistent and incoherent because she doesn't have a coherent idea of what a child can or cannot consent to. She thinks it is possible for a child to consent to sex, yet simultaneously she makes the appeal a child needs to be taught the consequences of sexual actions, a complete contradiction. If a child has the maturity to consent to sex, there would be no need to teach that child anything about sex. Just because a child might say "yes", doesn't mean the child "understands" what that means. You can manipulate a child into doing ANYTHING you want them to do. There have been notorious examples of this with sexual predators that lure a child into having sex with them. The police also have been known to bully a child into giving a false confession, or to give false testimony. When Vera was asked for a moral situation of pedophiliac behavior, she refuses to give one, she continues to assert some undefined, unnamed context where child molestation can somehow be moral. All we get for an example is some disjointed post alluding to some kind of lewd sexual conduct like public masturbation or sexual touching with a child as moral, which is extremely disturbing to hear.





Post 172

Friday, August 14, 2009 - 1:07amSanction this postReply
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Teresa:
if a kid of 6 plays with his cock because he enjoys it and even gets an errection (without anyone ever telling him about it or showing it to him) then is that 'un-sexual'? and where did he learn it when no adult ever showed this behaiour to him? or is it simply a biological function of a sexual organ even kids have?
claiming kids are 'un-sexual' across the board only works if you define sex purely as 'straight fucking' - if that's what you do, then please say so and i'll stop arguing against your points

John:
still no proof of causal connection that any kind of sexual act must be bad - huge numbers of negative incidents (which are a blight on our societies morality about sex - why do you think this happens so often in our wonderful world of nuclear straight families!?) don't replace facts - and your 'say so' is even less convincing, so don't accuse others of what you are doing
all you can come up with is 'what Vera thinks' - jeez, if you're so hung up about any sexual deviant you need to blast them, then maybe you should examine your own reasons - or is it simply that you need to smear anyone who can enjoy more than your pitiful straight fucking? what's that called: inferiority complex?
tell us what you think about your sexuality, your morality, instead of speculating (blasting) mine

Post 173

Friday, August 14, 2009 - 3:20amSanction this postReply
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if a kid of 6 plays with his cock because he enjoys it and even gets an errection (without anyone ever telling him about it or showing it to him) then is that 'un-sexual'?

Yes.  There is no connection in his mind between that activity and sexuality.  It's no different than when an infant discovers he can move his hands and fingers at will, but with no idea why. This is a period of self discovery for children, and shouldn't be confused with "sexuality," which includes an individual's view of others in relation to one's self in a sexual context.  He's completely ignorant of that concept. 

Newborn boys get erections too.



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Post 174

Friday, August 14, 2009 - 4:31amSanction this postReply
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http://www2.rz.hu-berlin.de/sexology/GESUND/ARCHIV/IES/USA08.HTM

http://www.libchrist.com/bible/child.html

http://www.sexualityandu.ca/parents/sexuality.aspx

Theories of sexual development may be broadly divided into two schools of thought.

1. The first emphasizes innate biology, which may be encouraged or discouraged during childhood. That is, human sexual development is viewed as a primarily biological process, basically similar across cultures, that follows a relatively narrow model for healthy sexual development and is vulnerable to disturbance from and influence of the larger culture and by other means. This is the approach used most often in the medical study of child development.
2. The second emphasizes sexuality as a social construct, with child sexuality strongly influenced by the larger society. This latter school often uses the terms normative, or culturally appropriate, behavior and non-normative, or culturally inappropriate, behavior.[1]


(from wikipedia]

(Edited by robert malcom on 8/14, 4:45am)


Post 175

Friday, August 14, 2009 - 5:11amSanction this postReply
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Thanx :)
VSD

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Post 176

Friday, August 14, 2009 - 10:46amSanction this postReply
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Vera:

John:
still no proof of causal connection that any kind of sexual act must be bad - huge numbers of negative incidents (which are a blight on our societies morality about sex - why do you think this happens so often in our wonderful world of nuclear straight families!?) don't replace facts - and your 'say so' is even less convincing, so don't accuse others of what you are doing
all you can come up with is 'what Vera thinks' - jeez, if you're so hung up about any sexual deviant you need to blast them, then maybe you should examine your own reasons


I don't even know what you're referring to. I wasn't calling any kind of sexual act immoral, I was saying pedophiliac acts are immoral. You are deliberating not paying attention to any of my arguments. Obviously you have nothing but utter contempt for any kind of intellectual discourse. Good luck with your crusade to clear up the "misconceptions" on pedophilia.

- or is it simply that you need to smear anyone who can enjoy more than your pitiful straight fucking? what's that called: inferiority complex?


Oh very mature! What next? That I'm just a closet Nazi that wants to kill Jews too? Yes the mark of a weak argument is always the psycholigizing bullshit. I guess I should be used to that by now. Yes because my blasting pedophiliacs is the same as blasting homosexuals! What the hell is wrong with you? Why are you obsessing on turning everything I say as an attack on homosexuality? And now you think homosexual sex is superior to heterosexual sex? What the hell does that mean?



(Edited by John Armaos on 8/14, 11:10am)


Post 177

Friday, August 14, 2009 - 1:21pmSanction this postReply
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touchy ... don't like a dose of your own medicine john?
i've just answered you exactly the way you answered me - in german there's a saying: 'wie man in den wald reinruft so schallt es zurück' - look it up sometime ...
byebye
VSD

Post 178

Friday, August 14, 2009 - 2:29pmSanction this postReply
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A dose of my own medicine? If that were the case, your posts would actually make sense and wouldn't be immature.


You seem to be hell bent on linking any condemnation of pedophilia with homosexuality. Why is that? Are you trying to say homosexuality is morally the same as pedophilia?

(Edited by John Armaos on 8/14, 2:55pm)


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Post 179

Friday, August 14, 2009 - 4:13pmSanction this postReply
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Honestly, Vera, John's been exceptionally patient with you in this thread.  

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