RoR: Forum

Don't Chuckle at these jokes. Mr. Norris has copyrighted that word. Also patented it and trademarked it. Just to be sure.

Post 41

Monday, March 27, 2006 - 5:36pm

Using just his hands and feet, karate champion Chuck Norris can make mincemeat of an entire cow, reducing it to inch long, bloody, chewed up chunks of meat in just .004 seconds.

Why do you think it's called Ground Chuck?

Post 42

Monday, March 27, 2006 - 5:37pm

...OK, I'm out of material...

Post 43

Monday, March 27, 2006 - 6:35pm

The weed of crime bears bitter Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris does not pay.

Chuck Norris knows.

---Landon

Post 44

Monday, March 27, 2006 - 6:38pm

Now I'm off to go make my attempt to take over Russia with an army of six unarmed men in a mini van with Chuck Norris using IEDs based on the design principle of the Burger King Whopper.

If Hiter and Napolean couldn't do it I'm certain my army of six unarmed men in a min-van with Chuck Norris would be capable of doing so.

---Landon

Post 45

Monday, March 27, 2006 - 6:42pm

Landon, be sure that your team doesn't forget to wear their bandana's.

Post 46

Monday, March 27, 2006 - 6:54pm

Of course. Bandannas, check. florescent pink muscle shirts, check. large care bear style floaty rings, check. nipple clamps, check. 15 pounds of hosetss twinkies, check.

---Landon

Post 47

Monday, March 27, 2006 - 6:58pm

...don't forget hidden knife in boot!

Post 48

Monday, March 27, 2006 - 7:14pm

Six UN-armed men. Stay focused man. we would all be armed only with our 6 pounds of twinkies, IED's based of the principle of the Burger King Whopper, and each man would be outfitted with a pair of Fuzzy Car Dice empowered through the blessing of Spiritual Advisor Chuck Norris with the holy mantra as spoken by the prophet Haley Joel Osment on the sacred Television show Walker Texas Ranger...

"Walker tells me I have Aids"

after a spiritual meditation in the minivan we will then begin our conquest of mighty mother Russia.

---Landon

Post 49

Monday, March 27, 2006 - 8:48pm

Whose nose knows what evil lurks in the farts of men? Chuck Norris's nose knows.

(Edited by Sam Erica on 3/28, 2:22pm)

Post 50

Monday, March 27, 2006 - 8:53pm

I demand a little more respect here. Be afraid ... be very afraid.

Charles Norris

Post 51

Monday, March 27, 2006 - 9:07pm

Can you someone please explain to me how 'Walker Texas Ranger' was able to run for 9 seasons?!?! 9!!!

Post 52

Monday, March 27, 2006 - 10:13pm

If I want your opinion on my moral, pro-justice, inspiring series "Walker, Texas Ranger", I'll beat it out of you.

Cordially,

Chuck Norris

Post 53

Tuesday, March 28, 2006 - 6:36am

Can you someone please explain to me how 'Walker Texas Ranger' was able to run for 9 seasons?!?! 9!!!

Ah, who can say, who knows these things? Oh well, who is Chuck Norris...

Post 54

Saturday, April 15, 2006 - 5:24pm

Some more great ones!

Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.

"Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship."

Andy.

Post 55

Wednesday, May 24, 2006 - 6:55am

If Chuck Norris is alone in the woods and he roundhouse kicks a tree, does anyone else hear it fall....and wimper?

gw

Post 56

Wednesday, May 24, 2006 - 7:34am

A bit o' the Bard,

"What a piece of work is Chuck Norris! how noble in reason! how infinite in faculty! in form and moving how express and admirable! in action how like an angel! in apprehension how like a god! the beauty of the world, the paragon of animals! "

"This above all: to Chuck Norris be true."

"There is nothing either good or bad, but Chuck Norris makes it so".

"Doubt that the sun doth move, doubt truth to be a liar, but never doubt Chuck Norris".

"Chuck Norris! Chuck Norris! my kingdom for Chuck Norris!"

"Chuck Norris' name is a tower of strength".

"O! Chuck Norris doth teach the torches to burn bright".

"Cry "Havoc," and let slip Chuck Norris". (my favorite!)

I will stop now, this could go on forever......

gw

....."Beware the ides of Chuck!"

Post 57

Friday, March 30, 2007 - 8:16pm