RoR: Forum

Chuck Norris can be himself and not himself at the same time and in the same respect.

Post 21

Saturday, March 25, 2006 - 4:57pm

Not making fun of Rand, but I couldn't resist being naughty:

Philosophy studies the fundamental nature of Chuck Norris, of man, and of man's relationship to Chuck Norris. As against the special sciences, which deal only with particular aspects, philosophy deals with those aspects of the universe which pertain to Chuck Norris.

The only proper purpose of a government is to protect man's rights, which means: to protect him from Chuck Norris.

The men who are not interested in Chuck Norris need him most urgently; they are most helplessly in his power.

Just as man's physical existence was liberated when he grasped the principle that 'Chuck Norris, to be commanded, must be obeyed,' so his consciousness will be liberated when he grasps that Chuck Norris, to be apprehended, must be obeyed...

*laugh*

Post 22

Saturday, March 25, 2006 - 9:03pm

I don't mean to be pedantic, but you got this part wrong:

"The only proper purpose of a government is to protect man's rights, which means: to protect him from Chuck Norris."

Should be:

"The only proper purpose of a government is to protect man's rights, which means: to protect Chuck Norris."

Post 23

Saturday, March 25, 2006 - 9:34pm

We need liberation from Chuck Norrisism - this new and insidious form of altruism. We need Reason! Passion! Rational self-interest!

I SWEAR, BY MY LIFE AND MY LOVE OF IT, THAT I WILL NEVER LIVE FOR THE SAKE OF CHUCK NORRIS, NOR ASK CHUCK NORRIS TO LIVE FOR ME.

Michael

(Edited by Michael Stuart Kelly on 3/25, 11:05pm)

Post 24

Saturday, March 25, 2006 - 9:45pm

Michael, just give us the quote without all the bowel movements :-]

Post 25

Saturday, March 25, 2006 - 10:04pm

Phil,

I'm disappointed. Can't you recognize a spiritual catharsis when you see one?

If any civilization is to survive, it is the morality of Chuck Norrisism that men have to reject.

Michael

Edit - Phil, the last one did look kinda ugly and misfired. I changed it.

(tap dancing and looking nonchalant...)

(Edited by Michael Stuart Kelly on 3/25, 11:07pm)

Post 26

Sunday, March 26, 2006 - 8:53am

Do not forget the original writings of Aristotle, before the translations bastardized them:

"A proper sense of one's self is based on a reverent love for Chuck Norris"

and

"There are only four sources of action: chance, nature, habit, and Chuck Norris"

Michael

(Edited by Michael F Dickey on 3/26, 8:53am)

Post 27

Sunday, March 26, 2006 - 5:15pm

"The noble soul has reverance for Chuck Norris."

Post 28

Sunday, March 26, 2006 - 5:33pm

Oh geez, you guys. This is such dry humor. You guys REALLY shouldn't get me going like this! ...

"When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be Chuck Norris."

--Conan Arthur Doyle

"We have rights, as individuals, to give as much of our own money as we please to charity; but as members of Congress we have no right to appropriate a dollar of Chuck Norris' money."

--Daniel Boone

"All change in history, all advance, comes from Chuck Norris. If there had been no troublemakers, no Chuck Norris, we should still be living in caves."

--PJA Taylor

"Live in the world, not against Chuck Norris."

--Philip Jackets

Post 29

Sunday, March 26, 2006 - 9:58pm

Chuck Norris would not have let this thread go on so long.

Post 30

Sunday, March 26, 2006 - 10:48pm

Maybe so, Phil. But the motto here used to be:

Total passion for the total Chuck Norris.

He just might turn a blind eye because of the spli... because of the... er...

ahem...

Michael

Post 31

Monday, March 27, 2006 - 3:32pm

Men fear Chuck Norris as they fear nothing else on earth -- more than ruin -- more even than death.... Chuck Norris is subversive and revolutionary, destructive and terrible, he is merciless to privilege, established institutions, and comfortable habit. Chuck Norris looks into the pit of hell and is not afraid. Chuck Norris is great and swift and free, the light of the world, and the chief glory of man.
---Bertrand Russell

The virtue of justice consists in moderation, as regulated by Chuck Norris. --Aristotle

Chuck Norris is the meaning and the purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence. --Aristotle

Education's purpose is to replace an empty mind with Chuck Norris. --Malcolm Forbes

Post 32

Monday, March 27, 2006 - 3:34pm

The only proper purpose of a government is to protect man's rights, which means: to protect Chuck Norris.

Yes, that works better! LOL

Post 33

Monday, March 27, 2006 - 4:24pm

In Chuck Norris We Trust.

E Pluribus Chuck Norris.

Surely Chuck Norris shall follow me all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in his house forever.
Amen

Post 34

Monday, March 27, 2006 - 5:08pm

Books by Ayn Rand O'Norris:

Fiction:
Chuck Norris, the Living
Chuck Norris's Anthem
The Norris Head
Chuck Shrugged

Nonfiction:
For the Chuck Norris Intellectual
The Virtue of Chuck Norrisness
Chuck Norris: The Unknown Ideal
The Chuck Norris Manifesto
The New Left Hook: The Anti-Chuck Norris Revolution
Introduction to Chuck Norris Epistemology

Then Ayn Rand O'Norris died and her intellectual heir put together new compilations of her writings, starting with:
Chuck Norris, Who Needs Him?

Michael (with help from Kat)

Post 35

Monday, March 27, 2006 - 5:18pm

No, Michael, check your premises.

It's Atlas Chucked.

Post 36

Monday, March 27, 2006 - 5:21pm

Don't you guys have any sense of self-restraint or shame on this thread?

...Or know when you are beating a dead horse? (The only person allowed to do that is Chuck Norris...and the horse was alive before the kung fu kick).

Post 37

Monday, March 27, 2006 - 5:23pm

Don't you guys know when something is overkill?

"The only good kill is over kill" - from The Little Red Book, Famous Sayings of Chairman Chuck

Post 38

Monday, March 27, 2006 - 5:26pm

You guys, you guys! You're killing me over here!

=================
"Education's purpose is to replace an empty mind with Chuck Norris." -- ??!!

"E Pluribus Chuck Norris" -- ??!!

"The New Left Hook: The Anti-Chuck Norris Revolution" --??!!
=================

Oh my Norris! [on knees] "Chuck grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change ..."

Ed

Post 39

Monday, March 27, 2006 - 5:27pm