Alcopops Treachery in SoloUK

I have had the pleasure over the past couple of months of enjoying the generous hospitality of Tim Visser at the first few SoloUK meetings. One of the most enthusiastic members has been Mr Matthew Humphreys, and I applaud his efforts towards creating a discussion group in Staffordshire.

What I cannot, and will not countenance however, is Matthew's penchant for the insipid and cloying waste-water contained in bottles labelled Smirnoff Black Ice. In a desperate attempt to save Mr Humphrey's soul, I will start to wean him off this filth on Saturday by feeding him some Absolut vodka and lemonade with fresh lime juice. If we're lucky, we may even get onto vodka and tonic. I understand that this will be a difficult and trying journey for Matthew, but it is one that he must make.

If anyone in Solo has experience in saving people from alcopop filth, please post any suggestions or words of support for Matthew.

Fellow Soloists-to Bordeaux and beyond!

Post 1

Sunday, March 14, 2004 - 3:54pm

ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I may have died of laughter before you get the chance ;-)

Post 2

Sunday, March 14, 2004 - 9:57pm

Sounds to me as though he's beyond help, hope or redemption. I had no idea. He hid it well. It may be a genetic predisposition, of course, but even so, he should be excommunicated forthwith. He might lead the others astray. Thank you, Fraser, for bringing this grave matter to the attention of Head Office so promptly. Now, do your duty.

Sombre (but not sober) Linz

Post 3

Monday, March 15, 2004 - 6:26am

This is hilarious.

Monday, March 15, 2004 - 4:20am

Hahaha!!

Oh dear....you guys *do* realise that this "insipid and cloying waste-water" is in fact vodka mixed with lemon and lime don;t you??? Most reviews also suggests that it is a cut above ordinary alcopops. Further, I would submit that I also happily drink shots and doubles of Smirnoff Red Label, Absolut and genuine Russian imports (delicious stuff :-D). I drink vodka both straight and mixed with coke, lemonade, lime etc. Fraser does not know any of this because he has only a very limited experience of my drinking habits, and he and Linz ought to refrain from jumping to conclusions without being aware of the full context of the situation. :-P

Hahaha!!!!

Post 5

Monday, March 15, 2004 - 7:06pm

No one's mentioned Milwaukee's Best?!?

At $1.99 per-sixer, you haven't drank--and expelled--toxic sludge until you've tasted "The Beast". 8 P

But seriously, is it just me or is Absolut Curant the greatest manifestation of booze made today? They must be chugging it in heaven. Especially Hey-Zeus and Moooohammed. They were complete lushes.

Post 6

Tuesday, March 16, 2004 - 7:38am

If I wanted toxic sludge I'd drink my boss' coffee. You guys can keep the booze, but Chaos protect you if you stand between me and the chocolates. :)

Post 7

Tuesday, March 16, 2004 - 4:05am

In the interest of clarity, I must stress that I only provided the venue and not the contraband.

I happily admit that I failed to object to these acts of wanton self-abuse through the employment of rational self-interest; it meant more fine wine for me!

Post 8

Tuesday, March 16, 2004 - 11:25am

Warning: Linz has drafted orders to our "enforcers". They've packed their essentials and now travel post-haste on the 7pm Anglo-Indian Transcontinental. Flee for your lives! (and your booze)

:end transmission

Post 9

Tuesday, March 16, 2004 - 10:57pm

Given that it's St Patrick's Day, O'Linz has decided to adopt Oirish logic & grant O'Humphreys a reprieve, even though he doesn't deserve one, to be sure, to be sure. He has one last chance. The Enforcers expect a comprehensive report on O'Humphreys' libations at the next meeting of SOLO-UK. If these fall as abysmally short of SOLO standards as has been reported hitherto, O'Humphreys' fate will make the floggings in Passion of the Christ seem like a therapeutic massage by comparison. Be very o'fraid, O'Humphreys!

Linz

Post 10

Wednesday, March 17, 2004 - 6:19am

A full appraisal of Smirnoff Black Ice on sense of life grounds will be made available in the near future. In the meantime I am very much looking forward to consuming Fraser's Absolut on Saturday ;-)

MH

Post 11

Wednesday, March 17, 2004 - 12:55pm

Yes, hmmmmmmmm.

Before one gets too closely associated to the Absolut brand, one should elucidate. I am not prepared to defend Absolut to a jury of my peers in the same way that I would say, Tanqueray gin. I also consider Saturday's efforts merely the start. My aim is to prove to O'Humpreys that fresh ingredients and careful construction are worth the effort.

Sarah, my gorgeous, intelligent, athletic, surprising and generally fan-dabby-doozy co-sleeper has also suggested that we host next month's SoloUK event. We can discuss that on Saturday.

O'Humphreys will, of course, be searched at the door.

We shall drink them on the beaches...

Post 12

Thursday, March 18, 2004 - 6:03am

"fresh ingredients and careful construction are worth the effort."

The really funny part about all this that I actually agree already!

Post 13

Friday, April 16, 2004 - 9:19am