RoR: Forum

I do declare—SOLO is perishing from an orgy of warm fuzzies. There's been far too much of this sort of thing recently. My curmudgeonly insensibilities have been grievously affronted. Rowlands, I blame you. Harrumph! I hereby denounce & excommunicate everyone forthwith. Bah, humbug!

Linz

James, going into the queue & finding this was the nicest surprise I've had in a long while. Bless you both, & those who helped bring you back together. I am right now playing Della Reese singing Softly My Love & raising a glass in honour of your reunion.

Post 1

Tuesday, March 15, 2005 - 1:03am

Good for you, James. :-)

Post 2

Tuesday, March 15, 2005 - 1:40am

Beautiful article James.

You made my day.

I love happy endings :-)

Post 3

Tuesday, March 15, 2005 - 1:59am

James, I am enormously happy for you. I knew you would do it and that it wouldn't take too long, either.

Alec

Post 4

Tuesday, March 15, 2005 - 2:15am

James: I'm thrilled that your heart is singing again, though I can hardly say I'm surprised. I just *knew* you wouldn't be down for long. Here's to the most romantic man on the planet, as well as one of the most honest.

Post 5

Tuesday, March 15, 2005 - 3:12am

Thank you, dear friend. And know how happy I am for you.

Barbara

Post 6

Tuesday, March 15, 2005 - 4:33am

James,

A deeply moving article! I am delighted that you were able to work things out :-)

MH

Post 7

Tuesday, March 15, 2005 - 5:29am

James, you never fail to give the gift of your honest and authentic self to us. Thank you for sharing this.

John

Post 8

Tuesday, March 15, 2005 - 6:28am

James, I am so very happy that you followed-up with us and shared this wonderful article. Bonne chance et beaucoup d'amour!

And Linz, Linz, Linz - You'd better watch out. You're going to have a mutiny on your hands. And I claim the right to first in the torture room when we lock you away.

J.

(Edited by Jason Dixon on 3/15, 6:29am)

Post 9

Tuesday, March 15, 2005 - 7:28am

James,

Thank you so much for sharing this, and for sharing yourself with us. Love inevitably has speed bumps, some the size of mountains, and it is a measure of our character when we decide which are worth climbing over, and which we will allow to stop us.

Good luck to you and Sergio.

Jennifer

Post 10

Tuesday, March 15, 2005 - 9:31am

Sometimes one must come to the brink of loss to put in the big chunk of self that good love takes. I hope that some day you will look back and say, "It was worth it."

Post 11

Tuesday, March 15, 2005 - 10:39am

Finally, the truth will win and it is nice to see you back on the loving road. Great article and emotionally touching. Thanks for sharing this with us, James.

I wish you many happy times ahead in your way through life.

Post 12

Tuesday, March 15, 2005 - 11:16am

Thanks James, that was just beautiful. Of course, I am delighted things are working out, but even more so, that you have this incredible gift and desire to share such intimate thoughts with us all so well.

Thank you,
David

Post 13

Tuesday, March 15, 2005 - 11:41am

James - "I was in such pain that I couldn’t keep up with many of my responsibilities. I felt I needed to write something..."

Yes, the emotional catharsis from putting it out there in public and getting friendly feedback is marvelous. I recently experienced it and personally, I cannot thank SOLO enough for providing a forum like this, especially as the feedback comes from like-minded people.

I am going to look up your first Sergio-and-you article and read it, including the posts.

Your present article is simply wonderful.

I sure hope that Sergio's addiction thing gets worked out. That is one issue that is much more complicated than it looks - both from the standpoint of the addict as well as from those who love the addict.

I have found that only abstinence is the real starting point to getting the whole mess worked out (for addiction - otherwise, if you can handle it, go for it I guess). Maybe there is another way, but I have yet to find it. Getting to that abstinence is the rub and it can severely test the patience of onlookers. Good for you that you don't let the love die, despite all this. I wish you both my sincere wishes for happiness.

Michael

(Edited by Michael Stuart Kelly on 3/15, 11:44am)

Post 14

Tuesday, March 15, 2005 - 3:22pm

James, I am glad to hear that my advice meant something to you. It’s wonderful that you and Sergio will be trying again. I don’t imagine that what (either of) you are going through is easy.

Jon

Post 15

Tuesday, March 15, 2005 - 4:17pm

Thank you all for your continuing good wishes and support. I am more grateful than I can express.
The wonder of life is love. It is not mystical at its base as most people believe, but the benevolent sense-of-life that flows through you when you are in love is the ultimate glory of living.
So I had better warn you, Linz, that that not only will I drip on ad infinitum, I will cover you with kisses at SOLOC4 on April 22. I would let Sergio do it, but he has already told me that he thinks you are cute, and it tends to diminish the effectiveness of a conference when it starts with a bloody murder.

Post 16

Tuesday, March 15, 2005 - 6:10pm

Oh, I don't know, James. I figure there'll be several bloody murders during the course of the conference, so we may as well start as we mean to go on. Assuming that it's Sergio's murder, not mine, that you have in mind.

Post 17

Tuesday, March 15, 2005 - 9:08pm

Adam, you gave me an emotional jolt -- a jolt of recognition -- with your beautiful line: "Sometimes one must come to the brink of loss to put in the big chunk of self that good love takes."

Barbara

Post 18

Tuesday, March 15, 2005 - 11:19pm

Barbara, I had the same reaction to Adam's line. It really makes you think.

Michael, Sergio has been at a recovery home since early January, and will remain there for six months. As he does with everything in life, he has thrown himself into it and become the star of the place, involving himself in all activities and befriending and helping all the residents and staff. I went to a graduation of one of the people who was leaving after a long period. A staff member asked me who I was and I said that I was Sergio's partner. She said, "Ah. Sergio. Well, of course, everyone loves him." Everyone does. Everyone should. He is the most loving person I have ever met. I notice that on almost every occasion that I write about Sergio, I end up writing about sunshine.
Sergio is very religious and very involved in 12 step programs. I have started to write about these programs on a few occasions, but I realized I still have much to learn about them before I can say anything. Although I have differences with some of its philosophy, I have also been overcome by its power to help people abstain from problem substances. I also find the people involved in the meetings to be fascinating, very wise and very funny.
I didn't see Sergio for more than a few minutes a few times during the first two months, but he has been progressing so well that we are able to spend an evening or two a week together now. I am hopeful that he can join us for a few hours at SoloC4 next month.

Post 19

Tuesday, March 15, 2005 - 11:21pm