 Hey, I got a question for you. Could Jesus microwave a burrito so hot that he himself could not eat it?
Homer Simpson
"The Simpsons"
People are saying 'We want good toilets!' because toilets are a basic human right and that basic human right has been neglected. The world deserves better toilets.
Jack Sim, Founder, World Toilet Organization
USA Today (http://www.usatoday.com/news/world/2004-11-17-toilet-summit_x.htm)
Not that I condone fascism, or any -ism for that matter. -Ism's in my opinion are not good. A person should not believe in an -ism, he should believe in himself. I quote John Lennon, "I don't believe in The Beatles, I just believe in me." Good point there. After all, he was the walrus. I could be the walrus and I'd still have to bum rides off of people.
John Hughes
Ferris Bueller's Day Off
Man is a rational animal who always loses his temper when he is called upon to act in accordance with the dictates of reason.
Oscar Wilde
Remember men, we are fighting for this woman's honor, which is more than she ever did.
Groucho Marx
From one of the Marx Brother's movies in which he is referring to the Statue of Liberty.
I read in the newspapers they're gonna have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff on television every Monday from 7:30 to eight, to educate America.... They couldn't educate America if they started at 6:30.
Groucho Marx
The Boston Globe (January 22, 1960)
The Federal Government's Motto: If It Ain't Broke, Fix It Until It Is.
Unknown Author
A Random Bumper Sticker
I made my fortune on the seas, and in the mines, and in the cattle wars of the old frontier... I made it by being tougher than the toughies, and smarter than the smarties. And I made it SQUARE!
Scrooge McDuck
I'm one tough gazookus which hates all palookas wot ain't on the up and square. I biffs 'em and buffs 'em an' always outroughs 'em an' none of 'em gets nowhere. If anyone dasses to risk me fisk, it's "boff" and its "wham", un'erstand. So, keep good behavior, that's your one lifesaver with Popeye the Sailor Man.
Popeye the Sailor Man
The knack of flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.
Douglas Adams
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
Getting laid is the motivation for a very large percentage of what I do, and I would have to say that the percentage only seems to be getting larger as time goes by and other things seem less important.
Ashley Frazier
SOLO HQ
We've got Armadillos in our trousers. It's really quite frightening.
Nigel Tufnel
This Is Spinal Tap
"My article suggests that a third state, “futuristic certainty,” exists, which is fundamentally far more akin to actuality than potentiality."
G. Stolyarov II
http://www.solohq.com/Forum/Dissent/0009.shtml#0
"Our civilization is perishing from an orgy of false laughter."
G. Stolyarov II
A liberal is a man who is willing to spend somebody else's money.
Carter Glass (former senator of Virginia)
Whitman, William B. The Quotable Politician. Guilford, CT: Lyons Press, 2003.
Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build bridges even when there are no rivers.
Nikita Kruschev
I've noticed that everyone who is for abortion has already been born.
Ronald Reagan
The nine most terrifying words in the English language are: 'I'm from the government and I'm here to help.'
Ronald Reagan
Thus, music becomes what Theodor W. Adorno might call a negative dialectic of original unoriginality, allowing the seeming banality of impoverished invention to serve as a vessel for the lamentations of the outcast. By reducing other people's masterworks to cheap ditties, Horner shakes his fist at the suffocating weight of bourgeois culture. In the absence of an individual voice, we are given to perceive the destruction of individuality itself. That’s one explanation. The other is that the man is a hack.
Alex (the music critic for The New Yorker) Ross
"The Score for Troy"
Rather than attempting to regulate people, the government should declare a moratorium on rain. I promise that it will be just as effective as any other policy the government is currently undertaking.
G. Stolyarov II
Objectivists have too often relied on stereotypical formulations of Ayn Rand's ideas. They have been quick to pounce on thinkers who might have been their allies. They have greeted new extensions of the system with a timid caution that reminds me of the Council of Scholars in Anthem, who spent fifty years debating the wisdom of accepting that radical innovation, the candle.
David Kelley
Truth and Toleration
The older I get, the more I realize that arguing on the basis of facts and logic only gets you labeled as someone who is out of step with the times, if not lacking in "compassion."
Thomas Sowell
Capitalism Magazine
Impartial observers from other planets would consider ours an utterly bizarre enclave if it were populated by birds, defined as flying animals, that nevertheless rarely or never actually flew. They would also be perplexed if they encountered in our seas, lakes, rivers, and ponds, creatures defined as swimmers that never did any swimming. But they would be even more surprised to encounter a species defined as a thinking animal if, in fact, the creature very rarely indulged in actual thinking.
Steve Allen
Quark: "It's good to want things." Odo: "Even things you can't have?" Quark: "Especially things you can't have."
Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
"What protectionism teaches us is to do to ourselves in time of peace what enemies seek to do to us in time of war."
Henry George
Bureaucracy is a giant mechanism operated by pygmies.
Honore de Balzac
Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance.
H. L. Mencken
We contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle.
Winston Churchill
1903
Do not suppose that abuses are eliminated by destroying the object which is abused. Men can go wrong with wine and women. Shall we then prohibit and abolish women?
Martin Luther
When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators.
P. J. O'Rourke
The Government is like a baby's alimentary canal, with a happy appetite at one end and no responsibility at the other.
Ronald Reagan
There is no distinctly native American criminal class save Congress.
Mark Twain
All the Congress, all the accountants and tax lawyers, all the judges, and a convention of wizards all cannot tell for sure what the income tax law says.
Walter B. Wriston
The government's War on Poverty has transformed poverty from a short-term misfortune into a career choice.
Harry Browne
Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.
P. J. O'Rourke
… I will say that it’s a good thing that the buggy whip manufacturers never formed a politically powerful coalition or else we would today still have a thriving, government-subsidized buggy whip industry. (Think of all the additional jobs!)
Jeff Landauer
$190 Billion of Evil
Republicans believe every day is 4th of July, but Democrats believe every day is April 15.
Ronald Reagan
Attributed
An intellectual who scorns politics is like a mathematician who scorns numbers. He does not count.
G. Stolyarov II
People who send me letters or e-mails containing belligerent personal attacks probably have no idea how reassuring their messages are, for they show that critics seldom have any rational arguments to offer.
Thomas Sowell
http://www.capmag.com/article.asp?ID=3580
The government under laissez-faire is lazy, but fair.
G. Stolyarov II
Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch. Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote.
Benjamin Franklin
http://www.geocities.com/rationalargumentator/Ben_Franklin.html
I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: 'O Lord, make my enemies ridiculous.' And God granted it.
Francois Marie Arouet de Voltaire
http://www.quotationspage.com
We should have a great many fewer disputes in the world if words were taken for what they are, the signs of our ideas only, and not for things themselves.
John Locke
Essay on the Human Understanding
I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
Will Rogers
http://www.geocities.com/rationalargumentator/Rogers.html
Never blame a legislative body for not doing something. When they do nothing, that don't hurt anybody. When they do something is when they become dangerous.
Will Rogers
http://www.geocities.com/rationalargumentator/Rogers.html
The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected.
Will Rogers
http://www.geocities.com/rationalargumentator/Rogers.html
I don't want to complain, but every time they build a tax structure, the first thing they nail is me.
Will Rogers
http://www.geocities.com/rationalargumentator/Rogers.html
This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when a baby gets hold of a hammer.
Will Rogers
http://www.geocities.com/rationalargumentator/Rogers.html
I can find no warrant for such an appropriation [federal aid to drought-stricken Texas farmers] in the Constitution, and I do not believe that the power and duty of the General Government ought to be extended to the relief of individual suffering which is in no manner properly related to the public service or benefit...The friendliness and charity of our countrymen can always be relied upon to relieve their fellow-citizens in misfortune...Federal aid in such cases encourages the expectation of paternal care on the part of the government and weakens the sturdiness of our national character, while it prevents the indulgence among our people of that kindly sentiment and conduct which strengthen the bond of a common brotherhood.
Grover Cleveland
http://www.geocities.com/rationalargumentator/Grover_Cleveland.html
[Government's] great contribution to human wisdom...is the discovery that the taxpayer has more than one pocket.
H. L. Mencken
http://www.geocities.com/rationalargumentator/Mencken.html
|
