| | I went to a Catholic High School where many of the teachers were Christian Brothers. It was a given at this school that if the Brothers thought physical discipline was necessary they would use it. The most feared of these Brothers was Brother Patrick known by all the students as Black Pat. He was rumored to have been a Golden Gloves boxing champion.
Black Pat taught Physical Education. If any one student was late for gym class, everyone was required to do duck walks. Once he was so upset with us we had to duck walk around the block. No one dared to be late for his class.
If you had a written excuse to not participate in gym class, you would sit on the stage in the gym and do schoolwork or watch the class. One particular day, I had an abundance of schoolwork to catch up on so I asked my mother for an excuse note, figuring I could work during gym class. Just before the class was about to start I took out my mom's note and read, "Please excuse Robert from gym class today. He has spring fever."
Oh, my God! He has spring fever? SPRING FEVER? SPRING FEVER? SPRING FEVER? I'M A GOD DAMN DEAD MAN!
It was too late to change into gym clothes. What was I going to do? I put the note back into its envelope. Black Pat began collecting the notes. I gritted my teeth and handed him mine. I watched as he put them in his pocket. My death was delayed momentarily. During class at one point he walked into his office to the side of the gym. No, he wasn't in there long enough to read my note, was he? Class ended. Nothing was said. My sentence would come later that day. Or maybe tomorrow?
Funny thing is I never heard anymore about it. He either didn't read the note or maybe even got a chuckle out of it. I'll never know.
If you've ever seen the show Everybody Loves Raymond, Ray's mom on the show is my mom. I kid you not...spring fever, indeed... I thought I was gonna die.
(Edited by Bob Palin on 10/27, 4:36pm)
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