| | Dear SOLO friends,
I am leaving SOLO, and I didn't want to go without giving my reasons and saying goodbye to all of you. I started my time here with an article about what SOLO had done for me, and I wanted to end with another thank you. First my explanation.
I think moderating David for insulting Joe was very unfair. Of course, the owner of a site may do as he pleases, but I think it's a sad state of affairs when what pleases him is to be treated differently than the other people on his site. If insulting people is wrong and creates a bad atmosphere, it is wrong for everyone, including the lowest and the highest. If it is just a part of passionate dialog, then that should apply to everyone too. Would this make me leave SOLO if it had been someone else who was moderated? Maybe. It certainly does when that someone is my dear husband. I cannot stand by and watch such unfairness to a person I know to be virtuous, passionate, kind to the deserving, funny, intelligent, devoted to his values, and a wonderful husband and father. Injustice to a person in general makes me angry, and it makes me very sad when it originates in others that I value. But injustice to the person whom I admire most, love ferociously, and would protect like a mother bear is intolerable to me.
I will miss so many of you on SOLO. Here I have found Jennifer Iannolo, whom I have welcomed into my inner circle, my home, my family, and my heart. If SOLO had done nothing for me but bring her to me, I would be grateful. I have had a chance to listen to and discuss with Barbara Branden, who was for me in the past only a voice in a beloved book and has become a real woman for whom I can have real admiration. I have laughed at Robert Bidinotto's jokes and enjoyed his serious posts, been moved by James Kilbourne, learned something about talents and happiness from Barbara Branden, clarified my own ideas by arguing unschooling with Phil Coates, picked up a new phrase from MSK (Dayayaaamm!), seen my old friend Aquinas come out of his shell and speak his mind more openly, found Adam Reed to be a likeminded parent with older children who bolsters my own confidence about raising Livy, thought even more analytically about preserving romance because of Luke Setzer, saw my friend Jason come into his own as a motive force and editor at SOLO, and, like I said in my first article, felt surrounded by community even when I was alone. Thank you all for those things.
There are certainly people I don't like, policies I don't like, and ideas I don't like on SOLO, but even now, sitting here feeling angry, hurt, and protective, my feelings for SOLO are mostly positive. When I was a child, I was taught a song about church:
The Church is not a building,
The Church is not a steeple,
The Church is not a resting place,
The Church is the people.
So I will not think of SOLO as a website, as a set of policies I disagree with, as a forum where I no longer feel I can stay. I will think of SOLO as the people, most of whom I found value in, learned from, laughed with, and enjoyed. In that way, I will still think of myself as a SOLOist. Happy lives, constant growth, and passionate reason to you all.
Kelly Reynolds Elmore
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