RoR: Forum

Hong, thanks for this article. It is an astounding and moving story. The idea of denouncing a seven year old child is bizarre. Presumably this is because his parents were counter revolutionaries? What better indication of a totally anti-individualistic mindset than to assume that a child is guilty by association.
And how meaningful the works of Hugo and Verne must be in contrast to party propaganda. We are truly spoilt for choice in the west and cannot see how important literature is to the growth of young minds.
Please write some more of your experiences of growing up in China,we are fascinated!

Post 1

Monday, March 28, 2005 - 2:25am

Hong,

Thank you for writing this - it brought back many memories of my own growing up in Communist Poland. Of a teacher who taught me the rudiments of intellectual independence - and then disappeared and was not supposed to be talked about. And how I was expelled from the Young Pioneers in the fourth grade, for defending a classmate who was being denounced. It was this incident, after which I would have no future in Poland, that finally motivated my parents to escape. You reminded me that I'll need to write about it some day....

Post 2

Monday, March 28, 2005 - 6:27am

Thank you for sharing this with us, Hong. What a touching and tragic story! Please consider relating more about your background; it is so very important for Westerners to understand what Communism really means. It's easy for Objectivists, who can abstract based on what we know of the principles of it. But it's important for it to be made concrete. I also hope writing of this is somehow therapeutic for you - that would be a good reason to continue.

And the same sentiments to you, Adam.

And Hong, please don't discount your scientific writing. The advance of knowledge is never a small thing! Literature is important but science is equally so.

Jason

Post 3

Monday, March 28, 2005 - 6:56am

Hong, what a magnificent story. Your natural curiosity has led you to some wonderful places, and I am delighted you decided to share the story with us. Keep them coming! :)

Post 4

Monday, March 28, 2005 - 7:03am

Hong wrote: "I know that I am not a writer."

How wrong you are Hong :) You express yourself beautifully, and you have a lot to say. The article painted a vivid picture of a girl with a sharp intellect growing up in a dark time. Thank you for writing this.

John

Post 5

Monday, March 28, 2005 - 7:22am

Hong,

I agree with John. You are a better writer than most. You are able to connect a sharp intellect with a deep sense of introspection. Your writing is a joy to read. I particularly found it interesting what you had to say about your being more at home expressing yourself in English than Chinese. I suspect Rand would have felt the same way ;)

Many thanks
David

Post 6

Monday, March 28, 2005 - 9:40am

Hong,

What a wonderful story of overcoming great odds!

I had to laugh about you stretching your neck to read the newspapers used as wallpaper as a little girl. My experience of growing up until I was 6 in a hillbilly town was very similar, though not as drastic. My hunger for reading and lack of reading material made me read road signs, product labels - practically anything I could stretch my little neck to see. I especially remember my sense of awe at the Sears catalogue in the wooden outhouse. I used to spend long hours sitting in there just to devour it.

I fight until today against a bad habit I acquired at that time. When I enter a room, my eyesight automatically goes straight to the printed word, wherever it may be. Sometimes this causes embarrassment. If there is a desk with papers on it, I have learned to make a special effort to look at the walls instead. I don't want people to think I am nosey and discourteous - it just seems that way at times. I am merely fascinated by the printed word.

One of the most charming aspects of your writing is that you give a clear description of problems and negative things, but you don't brood on them. You save your emotional content for the positive. That is a very special talent, Hong. And that gives your style an incredibly pleasing flavor.

So here you are saying that you are not a writer - shame on you! //;-)

You wrote:
"I did not, and could not, express any of these “normal” human emotions, such as delight in the beauty of nature, affection for loved ones, or sorrow for the loss of precious things."

Hmmmm....

Sounds like some quarters of Objectivism...

Michael

Post 7

Monday, March 28, 2005 - 9:43am

Thank you all so much for your understanding, encouragement, and warm reception of this somewhat self-absorbing piece! As for more stories, well, if you have the stomach...

David Baker,

The crime of the boy was that he wrote something disrespectful of Mao in men's room. What wretches me the most now, which had never occurred to me before, is how his parents ever get through the ordeal?! The boy was then considered to have a chance to be reformed, so he stayed on in our school. My family was relocated to another city when I was in the 4th grade so I don't know what have become of him. Hopefully he would have a more or less normal life afterwards.

Adam,

Yes, you know exactly what I was talking about. I am glad you family could break away. And, yes, please share.

Jason,

You are absolutely right that it is therapeutic for me...and group therapy feels even better!

Jennifer, John and David,

Thank you so much for your kind words. Your camaraderie and encouragement mean so much to me! And you even help me to understand myself better!

And thanks Linz, for your editing! You even corrected the title (Urrrgh!). I promise I'll do a better job proof-reading next time.

To Michael N,
I hope you are not offended by me (again! ha) that I referenced you (somewhat not fully justified, I admit). You see how reading has meant to me when I was young. Of course reading books is not the only way to fulfill one's spiritual, emotional and intellectual needs. Actually by the time I was 21 or 22, I had pretty much done reading, and started to focus completely on my study and work...that is until I found Rand and SOLO!

(Edited by Hong Zhang on 3/28, 11:01am)

Post 8

Monday, March 28, 2005 - 9:46am

Hong,

You are a wonderful writer, I was completely absorbed from beginning to end. You have an extremely important perspective to give in your writing. It is as if you have stepped out of the pages of "Anthem" to say "It's not fiction, folks".

Living and working in California in the technology field I have been fortunate to have the opportunity to work with many people from other countries. I remember almost thirty years ago working in S. California, I had a co-worker who was from the Ukraine, then part of the soviet union. He was Jewish and had waited many years on a list but finally was allowed to immigrate with his family. At the end of the work day, when we were leaving to go home, I watched him as he got into his car and left. He would first stand on the sidewalk looking at his car [used, but immaculately clean] for a moment. He would go over to the driver side and look for a moment. He would get in and sit for a moment with his hands on the steering wheel before he would start his car and very carefully drive away. All the while he had a look of almost reverence. I realized that he was memorizing an experience that for most of his life he probably didn't think he'd ever have. The fact that he was free enough to own his own car, that no one would question him about it, and he could come and go as he pleased.

Hong, I do not fault you at all for your feelings and your actions when you were very young. At that age we absorb ideas uncritically, no matter how intelligent we will are and especially if no one is contradicting those dramatic stories. The fact that you discarded those early feelings as you grew older and your critical abilities were more fully formed says a lot about your character and heroic personality. I have great admiration for you and hope to see much more of your writing on these pages. I also love the science writing! I followed your exchange with Michael Newberry with great interest. I love science as well, but alas, I'm not a scientist.

Post 9

Monday, March 28, 2005 - 10:00am

Hong, that was wonderful!

A very moving story, by a person that I have come to greatly respect.

By the way, you said: And thanks Linz, for your editing! You even corrected the title (Urrrgh!). I promise I'll do a better job proof-reading next time.

There is no need to thank Linz for his editing, trust me - he LOVES to do it!

More than once I have gotten a loving and heartfelt email from him, thanking me for an article that gave him the opportunity to exercise his editing talents for an hour or two. He assured me he can think of nothing he would rather do with his time.

George

Post 10

Monday, March 28, 2005 - 10:44am

Your writing is excellent. When your writing is not edited, some problems do appear, but nothing that limits the impact of your ideas. You have an outstanding command of verbal expression. Thank you for sharing your personal story.

Post 11

Monday, March 28, 2005 - 11:07am

Thanks Hong.

I wonder what the poor boy wrote in the men's toilets? "Chairman Mao, if you are China, then every day I piss on you!"
He should have received a medal for something like that!

Reading that chilling account seemed very close to a real life "1984". It is very hard for us to imagine. It must have been also very hard for you as well as your class mate, you were not old enough yet to fathom the evil nature of the regime you were brought up in. You were both unwitting pawns.

I would also like to chime in that you should not underestimate your talent for writing. You may need an editor, but so do many others who write in English as their first language!

(Edited by Marcus Bachler on 3/28, 11:48am)

Post 12

Monday, March 28, 2005 - 11:49am

Hong, thanks for the correction. I got the wrong end of the stick there! Thinking on this I wonder if the crime was disrespect to Mao or just for writing graffitti. I can imagine being caned for writing something rude about the Queen or Harold Wilson in the bogs at school. Except that when I was at school most of the staff were lefty trotskyist types who were always going on strike and having sit-ins about something or other.

Post 13

Monday, March 28, 2005 - 2:56pm

Hong,

Thank you so much for sharing that. It terrible that people go through that at all, and the invidiual story you share further solidifies my absolute disgust with collectivist systems. It just saddens me more to know there are still hundreds of millions of people still living under such systems, and the collectivist mentality still seeks to murder spirits, inventiveness, creativity, and spiritual growth all over the world. And it saddens me even more that most of the world could not care any less. Sharing stories like yours helps to bring these attrocities these systems perpetuated to light, and will hopefully make them less and less likely to keep happening.

Thanks again

Michael Dickey

Post 14

Monday, March 28, 2005 - 2:56pm

Hong, you said, "I know that I am not a writer. I do not have the imagination and it’s impossible for me to make up any thing."

And yet, as others have pointed out, you have written something eloquent and powerful because it's real.

Ayn Rand, in her writing seminars (now on tape and book form as well), used to say to people who worried that they were not stylish or slick that the most important, absolutely overriding thing in writing was clarity. Has one clearly communicated to the reader what was intended? One reason English teachers tell students in the early grades to write about something they know intimately is that it allows them to be simple and clear...and effective, as you were.

Please tell us more!! The more concrete, 'rich', and detailed the better. After I read this I had tons of questions: What were the people around you like? What kinds of friends and enemies did you have? How does the educational system of China as it opened up in the eighties compare to ours? When things began to open up, were there any kinds of books that would still not make it in? Do you think it's harder to think in Chinese because of the lack of an alphabet? Is it difficult to express abstract concepts in Chinese, such as "rights" or "rational self-interest"? What part of China did you live in?

By the way, are you aware that there is now a Chinese translation of "Anthem" out there?

Thank you again for this honest and insightful essay.

Phil Coates

(Adam, I hope you will tell us of your experiences in Poland...in whatever form or order emerges from your subconscious as resonant.)

Post 15

Monday, March 28, 2005 - 3:21pm

Hong,

Thank you so much for sharing that with us! It really made me respect you even more than I did before. You emerged from that hell and turned yourself into a rational, sensitive, smart woman. That is an accomplishment I salute! I would love to hear more. So interesting!

Kelly

Post 16

Monday, March 28, 2005 - 3:24pm

Isn't this the same Hong that swore she would never write an article?

lol

George

Post 17

Monday, March 28, 2005 - 3:38pm

Isn't this the same Hong that swore she would never write an article?

I blame Newberry. He finally worn me down...

Post 18

Monday, March 28, 2005 - 4:18pm

Wow, I am really really touched by all your generous comments!

MSK:

You said "...you give a clear description of problems and negative things, but you don't brood on them." Yes, I've tried to be simple and clear, as Philip said. I do not like to insult the intelligence of the readers. Your guys have responded to the exact things that I tried to convey…even more than what I could hope for. So I am really grateful.

Mike,

Yes, I think I have a unique perspective that’s even different from Ayn Rand, Adam or most people who had made it to the west: my family and I were not enlightened at all. We were complete wrapped in the system most of the time. And I have this rare opportunity to witness and experience things that span several generations of human civilization.

George,

How I wish that I have the mastery of English language as you!

Michael M!

I appreciate so much your comment! It means a lot coming from somebody who takes great pride in writing! I particularly appreciate that you (and all of you) are able to look beyond my clumsy mistakes and often understand what I try to say even better than myself!

Philip,

I will think more on your questions…and also find out whether there are any Chinese translations of Ayn Rand’s work.

Hong

Post 19

Monday, March 28, 2005 - 4:18pm