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Tuesday, July 31, 2007 - 4:50pmSanction this postReply
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My Soul is a Pack of Coyotes

My soul is a pack of coyotes
Trying to catch a rabbit
In the field of my imagination.
My heart is a flock of seagulls sleeping on water
With fish going right under them
In every direction
Just like my bloodstream.
My body is like an Encyclopedia of bones,
Every bone is like a different word
Making my body the way it is.

-Jalen Thompson

all rights reserved
[internal punctuation added -TK]


I think this stands up on its level with Yeats and Shakespeare. Please follow the link to see the original context.


(Edited by Ted Keer on 8/01, 12:18pm)


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Tuesday, July 31, 2007 - 6:14pmSanction this postReply
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"...Trying to catch a rabbit," 

What a pleasure it was to sanction this young man's poem twice. :)

I would have missed it if not for this post, Ted.  Wonderful.


Post 2

Tuesday, July 31, 2007 - 6:38pmSanction this postReply
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I hope I haven't presumed, perhaps Ed can comment, but I am extremely impressed by this and it is a great joy to bring attention to it.

Ted

Post 3

Wednesday, August 1, 2007 - 8:30pmSanction this postReply
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Teresa and Ted, thanks to you both.

I'm very proud of my nephew, Jalen. He has a wonderfully creative mind. I've told him that he should write more -- in order to let the world in so that the world can witness the beauty of which he thinks and dreams.

Ed
[proud uncle]


Post 4

Thursday, August 16, 2007 - 3:43pmSanction this postReply
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Thompson, Yeats and Shelley

I mentioned that Jalen Thompson's poem reminded me of Yeats, and recommended Yeats as worth reading. I own The Collected Poems of W.B. Yeats, revised second edition, Finneran editor. The poems are presented chronologically and are numbered.

My Soul is a Pack of Coyotes
reminded me immediately of Yeats' The Fascination of What's Difficult, number 99 in the collection. Numbers 98, 103, 110, 116, 141, 154, 161, 171 ("To a Squirrel"), 172, 194, 200 ("The Second Coming" - his most famous work, see below), 241 ("Death" - perhaps his best), 255 (The hilariously insulting "For Anne Gregory"), 287 ("I am of Ireland" glossed by Kate Bush) and many others are among my favorites. I intend to comment on some of these at length when time and inspiration allow.

For now, let me state that the standard criticisms of Yeats, that he is a pessimist and a mystic, are not baseless. Yet he is an Irishman who witnessed both the terrible trials of his own land and the worst disaster of human history - The Great War - and his distress was neither unfounded nor all-consuming. His so-called mysticism is not a solipsistic floating subjectivism, but an immersion in the common mythology of his Catholic and Celtic roots. Some of his poems cannot be understood without a rather detailed knowledge of these subjects, but he offers more than enough of value outside these realms so that anyone who can read English can enjoy his humanistic insights and his mastery of our common tongue.

Yeats' poetry is quite modern in all sense save those that give the modern a bad name - he rhymes, he follows form but is not a slave to it, he is ironic at times but never cynical, facetious or a nihilist. He uses concrete visual imagery (as has Jalen, above) to build a mood and express an abstract theme. Perhaps the best praise I can give Yeats is that my mother, a well-read, intelligent, but not over-educated homemaker said, upon reading him at my suggestion, "This is the first poetry that I have ever read that I have both understood and enjoyed."

Published in the aftermath of the First World War, his most famous poem is seen as a mystic and pessimistic commentary on the last century of the Second Millenium. Robert Bork made it the frontispiece of his Slouching Towards Gomorrah. I reproduce it here without any other commentary than to note the beauty of its substance and form. Below I have reproduced Shelley's Ozymandias, which I have always seen as its more benevolent 18th Century counterpart.

The Second Coming

Turning and turning in the widening gyre
The falcon cannot hear the falconer;
Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity.

Surely some revelation is at hand;
Surely the Second Coming is at hand.
The Second Coming! Hardly are those words out
When a vast image out of Spiritus Mundi
Troubles my sight: somewhere in sands of the desert
A shape with lion body and the head of a man,
A gaze blank and pitiless as the sun,
Is moving its slow thighs, while all about it
Reel shadows of the indignant desert birds.
The darkness drops again; but now I know
That twenty centuries of stony sleep
Were vexed to nightmare by a rocking cradle,
And what rough beast, its hour come round at last,
Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?

-W.B. Yeats

Ozymandias

I met a traveller from an antique land
Who said: Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
Stand in the desert ... Near them, on the sand,
Half sunk, a shattered visage lies, whose frown,
And wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command,
Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,
The hand that mocked them, and the heart that fed:
And on the pedestal these words appear:
"My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
Look on my works ye mighty and despair!"
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stretch far away.

- Percy Bysshe Shelley

Both poems were copied from the Wondering Minstrels website at http://www.cs.rice.edu/~ssiyer/minstrels/index.html

Ted Keer

Post 5

Friday, August 17, 2007 - 7:51pmSanction this postReply
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Thanks Ted (you must be a great uncle, yourself)!

bee-tee-double-yoo: Here's something that happened to have ran through my mind just now ...

True:
Jalen just got tested at the Sylvan Learning Institute. He has been struggling in school (side-note: Didn't Einstein struggle in school?), and so his mother (my sister) took him in for an evaluation. He was found to have a potential for intelligent discussion of matters which measured at something like 3-5 years ahead of his chronological age. Apparently, he's a 16 year-old mind trapped in a 12 year-old body, or something like that!

True:
I, too, struggled with being a young genius in K-12 school -- and I REALLY paid a price for my passionate intelligence in college ...

Questionable:
But that's when I discovered ... GA ("Geniuses Anonymous"). I remember ... we would sit around talking about how hard it is to be so smart in the world, how we were made fun of and singled-out so often. How it was especially disconcerting when we discovered that we knew a subject matter better than our teachers/professors did. How, in group projects, others would flock to us in messianic franticity (eccentrics make up words, you know). The others would be asking to be "shown the light" or the "one, true way" -- whether it be determining if our ambient optic array stems from particles, or electromagnetic waves, or both (particles waving at us).

True:
I shared my true story of being called into my prof.'s office, accused of not applying myself to the assignment ("Analyzing the results of leptin-injections in the obese mouse model"). I told my prof. why I answered the worksheet in the way that I did, and that I'd be back the next day, marshalling supporting research for all of my answers. She looked like a deer caught in someone's headlights (she had, herself, been published more than once in medical journals). I came back the next day, laid out the research on her desk, and explained to her why it is that my answers were the best possible answers to that worksheet -- given the totality of the available scientific research on the matter. She was effectively persuaded (i.e., she got punk'd) and subsequently increased the score on my worksheet by 4 grade-points (though she didn't reduce the others' grades, even though they were all put into error, when their work was compared to mine).

Highly Questionable:
After telling this personal story, I got a lot of consoling hugs from the other geniuses in the room. I think that I might have even shed a tear or four. There was this one guy who stayed seated during that time, looking down at the ground. Looking down past his pencil-filled pockets and through his horn-rimmed glasses. When he looked up, his eyes were bloodshot red, his face was soaked with tears, and he mustered a breathless moan of both sorrow and joy. It must've meant so much for him to know that others had gone through such similar trials, struggles and tribulations as him. It can, at times, be hard to be in a "minority" -- but we were all there together and on the same page, in that room and on that day.

Absurd:
Later on, that young man in the horn-rimmed glasses -- a man who had read the entire dictionary and encyclopedia by the age of 14 (or something like that; I think his name was "Bill") -- well, he grew up to be the head of a major software ... [okay, NOW I've let myself sink into a pure BS-mode (and, therefore, should probably stop now -- and will)]

;-)

Ed
[It's sometimes taxing to be eccentric (on both myself; and on others, too -- as I'm sure you've ascertained by now, considering you've made it through to this far "in"), but you've just got to admit one damned thing: It's always better than being merely boring! And to top it off, I've noticed something about myself. There seems to be a pattern behind these ramblings -- I always seem to have gone too long without food and/or sleep; and that seems to put me on the soapbox, for plausible reasons]

(Edited by Ed Thompson on 8/17, 7:57pm)


Post 6

Monday, August 27, 2007 - 12:14amSanction this postReply
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Ed, why don't you put some of that energy into the Poem Ozymandias?

What is the theme?
What is the effect of "point of view" or reported speech in the poem?
How many levels of perspective are there?
Phonetically, what stands out?
Does the poem follow Rand's dictum of usding concretes to make the reader elicit a judgement, rather than simply making the judgement for the reader?
Compare Jalen's poem.

As for my gifted childhood, I had the usual trouble with bullies, which put me in good stead for later life. But my town seemed to have a bumper crop of geniuses. Of my graduating class, we had four national merit scholars, no class before had had more than two. None of us scored perfect on the SAT under the older stricter standards; I got 740/740, there were an 800/660 and a 660/800 as well. We'd all have gotten 1600's under the revised scoring they use now. We were little monsters who terrorized some of and delighted the rest of our teachers. College was a let-down.

And my eldest nepos is only just over two. I don't expect to be a great-uncle for quite some time.

Ted Keer

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