| | CARPE GLUTEUM
Ed, I don't see how my story here is one of anything less than applied morality, etiquette to be precise, parallel to yours.
I was waiting for the train on an extremely crowded platform, and had a good resting position staked out where I could lean against a pillar but be position for my train when it came. A stranger, about whom I knew nothing other than that they were trying to push me off my resting position, and whom I could not see or turn to face without losing my position led me to the conundrum, what to do? Should I ignore it, turn and confront the person?
Well, without knowing who it was, a little old babotchka, a hulking gangtsa, a teen, a mother, a little girl, i reached dom with my left hand and squeezed that person's right but cheek in a firm manner, neither sexual nor impersonal but in the way one might grab a friend's upper arm by the muscle and shake it in a friendly way to get his attention.
Well, as the train was pulling in the station, it turned out my attacker/victim was a young white male, rocker city-punk type with earings and probably tattoos, he started yelling quite slowly and clearly at first, but louder and more insistantly, "You grabbed my butt!" "You Grabbed my Butt!!" People backed away and started laughing, not at me, as I stood calm and Stoic, but at him, as if he was saying someone had stolen his purse. I couldn't keep in my mirth, I finally began to smile, while he stood there slack-jawed in shock. The train deboarded and as I got on, (I am 6'2") I leaned my head up and clearly enunciated in my best James Earl Jones, "You started it. It's what I thought you wanted." The doors closed between us with him standing shocked out on the platform, not even having thought to board, with his embarrassment but without a ride.
After the fact, I laughed for hours, when I repeated the story, people said I might have done the same to a woman or a Linebacker and been pummelled or arrested. I still think that what I did on impulse was exactly the right thing. It was not a scenario I had ever pre-planned. Afterwards, I thought that what I had done was what a character in a Heinlein novel would have done, or what my father, who punched a mugger in the jaw and grabbed sawed-off shotgun out of his hands who was attempting to hijack his bus by the WTC in the early 1980's would have done.
I did not text-message my confessor or cogitate before I acted, I acted and never once questioned the validity or effectiveness of my actions, and they did work. After the fact, I can rtationalize myself blue over the issue. Even if I had gotten a broken jaw, it would have been fun explaining it to the police and the surgeons. I don't think it would be right to say that I acted on mere whim, as I know I would be accused by some mice who have not led the life I have led.
Life is to be lived, not to be worried til death.
The image is a different stop on a different line but the same layout, sans crowds.
Ted Keer, 14 November, 2006, NYC
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