|Nicki, you are a treasure. :)|
I also think that women who are unable to achieve orgasm have a mental block of some sort -- it just isn't that difficult. I have a theory about this relating to one's "pleasure center" that I posted on the Food board, but I'll repost it here:
After giving this subject much thought, I have come to form a hypothesis that the connection between openness to the sublime pleasure of food and to sensuality may be rooted in one's sense of life. To swoon over a forkful of something divine -- one that inspires rolling of the eyes and primal groans -- requires a person to be open enough to experience a feeling of pleasure that deeply. This would likely be apparent in a person who also revels in the art of making love.
It brings to mind Howard Roark's statement that "it only hurts down to a certain point." Conversely, however, I think of a person who can feel all the way to his core -- to his pleasure center, if you will. Granted, such a person might not always be a rational one, so it cannot be said that this applies solely to an Objectivist sense of life. I've experienced many Objectivists in various settings who could care less about the food -- eating is more about fulfilling the hunger efficiently. (I will never cook for such people, as it would be a wasted effort.) In fact, I am inclined to think that one would more likely find it in someone hedonistic, given many Objectivists' tendency to repress all of those magnificent feelings of pleasure.
The historic gastronomic writer Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin had a famous quote: "Tell me what you eat and I'll show you who you are." Do you subsist on bland pork chops, or do you savor the delicate perfume of garlic on a medium-rare steak that is flowing with aromatic juices? Do you eat to get full, or to satiate your palate? I would liken that to someone who prefers the missionary position rather than the numerous other ways one can enjoy sex. I am also speaking of a person on the whole, as not every meal can be a gastronomic feast, nor can every sexual encounter be a marathon.
In the end, such an approach to food and sex reflects a greed for life. And that is a huge turn-on. I think it is no small coincidence that seizing one's time on earth with gusto is likened to "sucking the marrow" of life.
From a personal perspective, I have found that the deeper I come to know myself, the stronger the potency of these sensual responses. It seems to require the ability to experience pleasure on a very deep level, without any sort of inner censor, and to appreciate the quality and source of that pleasure.
I'd be interested in hearing input on this, as it is an important aspect of my life's work.