| | I can hear his defense's argument now:
"Your honor, my client is a victim of the system. Despite the look of his brand new 100.00 sneakers, purchased by his baby momma, he has no way to support himself, other than to steal. He can't read and can barely write his name. The educational system owes this man an apology for failing him."
Or:
"Your honor, my client was extremely intoxicated at the time. He doesn't even remember falling the third time. He needs our help, your honor. Hopefully he'll get that help when he wins the personal injury suit I filed against the manufacturer of that faulty ladder which caused him terrible injury and pain."
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