| | Louise,
This whole thread seems totally pointless ... You're wrong. This thread is an exercise in the virtue of benevolence. Many misunderstand it as patience, generosity, civility, mea culpas, or "turning the other cheek". These are at most methods of benevolence. But benevolence doesn't require ignoring or playing down disagreements. It does not require disarming yourself to keep the peace. It doesn't demand surrender to avoid conflict.
Benevolence is a species of justice. It is a judgment that others are acting in good faith in the absence of any evidence of malice. Benevolence serves your self-interest by seeking harmony with another when there is no reason to believe that he poses any harm to your interests.
Benevolence is a useful virtue in an internet forum because there is almost nil prospect of suffering any harm from anyone. Flames and insults are the worst that people can do to you, and they only hurt if you let them. So why not give others the benefit of the doubt?
But as I said that doesn't mean shying away from disagreements. It does mean assuming that your opponent, even if ruffled and unpleasant, is not acting in bad faith - at least until you clearly know otherwise. Even then, benevolence in an internet forum will still permit second chances. I am sincere when I say I hold no grudges here.
So, let's consider how benevolence has not been exercised in this thread. I think if you take an objective look at who has said what here, the ones who have gotten upset or snarky with me have done so because they were caught in contradictions they refuse to admit. That's understandable. Pride is powerful. However, another virtue called integrity should override pride to allow them to admit a mistake and move on. When they move on, that's when they might recognize how failing to exercise the virtue of benevolence regarding me got them into the fix they were in.
Andy
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