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Post 0

Sunday, May 22, 2005 - 12:21pmSanction this postReply
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This is an fast paced vivid narrative with powerful imagery.  It holds the attention and artfully employs humor to relieve tension in the foibles of the old man.   Clearly, the work of a talented writer.

But, the sparce, economic use of the language and interpolation of words not then in common use that make it successful as riveting fiction, cause it to fail as convincingly written in the 19th century.


Post 1

Sunday, May 22, 2005 - 12:29pmSanction this postReply
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Robert D.,
Point well taken, but to paraphrase Martin Scorcese (who may have been quoting Kubrick):
"I was making a movie about the 19th century. Not a 19th century movie.)"


Post 2

Sunday, May 22, 2005 - 12:38pmSanction this postReply
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Has your counter part made a reply to this letter from Gothard Wren?

I now understand what you meant by the second half giving a clue as to the time period.  Clearly written at the bottom of the page.

Your piece brought me cause to look up the history of rockets.  Which is what Dr. Adahlgiso's secret is unless I miss read something.  Here is some of what I have found.

Profiting from their Indian experience, the British, led by Sir William Congrieve (KON-greeve), began development of a series of barrage rockets ranging in weight from 300 to 18 pounds. Congrieve-design rockets were used against Napoleon.         It is surprising that Napoleon seems to have made no use of rockets in the French Army but it must be remembered Napoleon was an artillery officer and may have simply been too hide-bound a traditionalist to favor new-fangled rockets over more familiar cannons. The scope of the British use of the Congrieve rocket can be ascertained from the the 1807 attack on Copenhagen. The Danes were subjected to a barrage of 25,000 rockets which burnt many houses and warehouses. An official rocket brigade was created in the British Army in 1818.

http://www.allstar.fiu.edu/aero/rocket-history.htm

Froissart's idea was the forerunner of the modern bazooka. Joanes de Fontana of Italy designed a surface-running rocket-powered torpedo for setting enemy ships on fire. In 1650, a Polish artillery expert, Kazimierz Siemienowicz, published a series of drawings for a staged rocket.

During the early introduction of rockets to England, rockets were used primarily for war. Many battles were fought where rockets played important roles. Francis Scott Key coined the phrase the "rocket's red glare" after the British fired Congreve rockets against the United States in the War of 1812. Congreve had used a 16-foot guidestick to help stabilize his rocket. William Hale, another British inventor, invented the stickless rocket in 1846. The U.S. army used the Hale rocket more than 100 years ago in the war with Mexico. Rockets were also used to a limited extent in the Civil War.

http://ffden-2.phys.uaf.edu/211.fall2000.web.projects/I.%20Brewster/History.html
 

From what I see your story fits into the history well for the most part.  A stickless rocket in 1813 would be an amazing secret to keep.


Well Done,

~E.


Post 3

Sunday, May 22, 2005 - 2:49pmSanction this postReply
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The first part moved a bit slow but, as I shared with Julia privately, the second part made my heart race with anticipation and tension. 

Jason


Post 4

Tuesday, May 24, 2005 - 7:15amSanction this postReply
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Well done, Tower! "hast hit it, friend Wiggle" that is indeed Adahlgiso's secret.  To my knowlege, the congrieve rocket was never actually used at the Battle of Leipzig, and the ceremic base was refined a little later.  We'll see how my counterpart responds, she's still complaining because I'm making her do research.  She'll come through, I'll warrant.

Wolf (Robert Davison) - much appreciated.  I agree 100%.  The dance between over-adjectived, obtuse but period language and engaging language is hugely difficult.  I appreciate Jeff's defense (thanks Jeff!) and it's a good one.  However, the penn-ultimate goal is accurate and engaging.

Jason - I made your heart race.  Now that's the literary experience I like.  ;)

Julia


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