RoR: Forum

Beautiful, Jennifer. Have no fear, these unsung heroes surround us at every turn - they for whom work is not a chore but a passion, for whom no outcome is satisfactory except the best possible. "The total passion for the total height." They are Nem. They may be outnumbered in contemporary culture, but they have carrying power. They have what singers would call "squillo." Theirs is the future. *Ours* is the future!

Linz
(Edited by Lindsay Perigo on 9/21, 5:56pm)

Post 1

Tuesday, September 21, 2004 - 3:08am

Just encountering competence can make my day. And, as you point out, it is often found in surprising places. Just a spark will do. In you, a sense a roaring campfire.

Post 2

Tuesday, September 21, 2004 - 5:36am

Jennifer,

I find it refreshing to read this type of material from a woman. Too often I encounter women who view "compassion" as superior to competence. This attitude runs rampant in books on romantic relationships. I recall one passage from one book in particular that made me want to jump out of my skin:

Men judge themselves as good by how competent they are.
Women judge themselves as good by how compassionate they are.

Aaaaarrrgggghhhhhh!!!! Can "compassion" put food on the table, clothing on one's back or a roof over one's head? But wait! Let me offer a companion quote:

Guys, let me tell you something. If you think that providing your lady with food, clothing and shelter is enough, you are wrong. Women take those things for granted, as a given, to be expected as part of the relationship.

I offer these quotes from memory. As I recall, they arrive from Light Her Fire by Ellen Kreidman.

So, thank you for breaking the mold and setting an example for all of us of a woman who worships competence and self-reliance in herself as well as in others.

Luke Setzer

Post 3

Tuesday, September 21, 2004 - 7:54am

Thank you, gentlemen.

Compassion, shmassion...I will take competence over it any day. After all, I don't really care how the plumber feels about my pipes -- I just want him to fix them.

It sounds like I need to have a chat with Ms. Kreidman. She's been talking to the wrong women. :)

You know, I really understand why Rand took great pride in being called "the best man" someone had ever met. What her admirers were expressing was exactly what we are discussing here. One of the greatest compliments I ever received was that I "thought like a guy."

Amen, my brothers. ;)

Jennifer

Post 4

Tuesday, September 21, 2004 - 8:50am

Jennifer wrote:

One of the greatest compliments I ever received was that I "thought like a guy."

Some Objectivist women evidently do not quite get this. One of my Christian female engineer co-workers came out of the closet a couple of years ago as a lesbian, divorced her husband and moved her new girlfriend into her house. I shared this story with an Objectivist female insurance agent chat buddy. Her immediate response?

"Female engineers are like that."

Aaaaaarrrrggghhhhh! Fortunately, we did not have this exchange face to face or it might have gotten ugly. I think we might have had a long chat about that remark had time permitted.

Luke Setzer

Post 5

Tuesday, September 21, 2004 - 9:54am

Jennifer, thank you. Sometimes I need to explain why I drive half an hour each way to shop at a Ralph's Supermarket at Hawthorne and Crest in Rancho Palos Verdes, when there is another Ralph's a few minues from my door, and I pass four more on the way to the one I prefer. I drive to that one because it has a manager who only hires competent people. There are times when I ask the store's butcher or greengrocer questions that I didn't need to ask, just to hear them talk about what they sell with knowledge and passion. For just one hour of driving time I get to spend half an hour in Atlantis. You just wrote the greatest short explanation what a bargain I get.

Post 6

Tuesday, September 21, 2004 - 12:46pm

Adam- what a great post. I may have to drive to Rancho Palos Verdes from Hollywood for food. At my local Ralph's, I consider it a successful shopping experience if no one gets hurt.

Post 7

Tuesday, September 21, 2004 - 1:04pm

Awesome article, Jen. I always go out of my way to compliment someone on a job well-done. People often take competence for granted and do not give it the respect it deserves. When I'm at a restaurant and I receive exceptional service, I try not only to leave as generous of a tip as possible, I also try to personally thank the server (in some cases the cook as well).

Jen said:
Since displays of competence are so rare, I cannot help but to gush at such individuals.� They probably think I�m mental.� But this helps me to heal from the torture of�the Dell technician who accidentally instructed me to press �erase� for my hard drive instead of �repair.�� Yes, that really happened.

I say:
As for your computer troubles, I'd say buy a Mac. Just about any software that's out for PC's are available for Mac, the operating system is easier to use than XP, and Apple's tech support has been acclaimed as the best in the industry.

Adam

Post 8

Tuesday, September 21, 2004 - 2:40pm

If I'm not mistaken, it was no less a personage than von Mises who said of Ayn Rand that she was the greatest man in America! And she was tickled pink when she heard about it.

Linz

Post 9

Tuesday, September 21, 2004 - 4:20pm

Wonderful, wonderful article Jennifer!

James, does Gourmet Chalet, on Sunset, still exist?

Adam, you know, we all need to make piles of money, PV is rich, and the rich, thankfully in America, get what they demand...shit I sound like a facist, but I am a little drunk with two huge classes of wine, my limit when not dinning with Jennifer! But I can tell you I don't miss the driving in your areas! And PV is lovely except for the architectural Nazis and their residential zoning commissions about the structure, color, and forms of homes and down to their fucking fences! Picked and white! Maybe the rich in America cannot get what they demand?!

Ah, for Jennifer, its a law for me never to drink wine without food. Pinot Grigio with homade salsa and blue corn tortillas. Salsa: hummm, one huge perfect tomato; whole haas avocado; a little chopped onion; tiny bit of garlic (small portion, eating alone) huge handrul of fresh cilantro, fresh squeezed lime, cayanne pepper, little salt, fresh ground pepper.

Unfortunately for Linz and Joe there was no screaming cow in the bowl, though I could have then made a pile of caprichio (sp), ummm, love that too, marinated raw meat, hmmm, which gets me thinking about my own meat.

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, mmmmmm, I think that is enough posting while toasted.

Toast everyone!

Michael

Post 10

Tuesday, September 21, 2004 - 4:36pm

Michael, your post was hilarious! I am far more dangerous with port -- I do believe that's what I spilled all over you and Francisco in Vancouver. God, Linz, I wish you could have been there with us!

(P.S. If any of you have the opportunity to dine with Michael, I implore you to do so! He is a delightful conversationalist and dining companion, and one of the few people who is like a kid at Christmas when colorful, masterful dishes are brought to the table. Ply him with some wine and it's a party.)

Your salsa sounds heavenly...I made a tomato salad this evening with the bounty from the garden, and had my twin nephews pick beautiful big leaves of basil to shred and toss in with it. We all smelled like basil! (Or as you foreigners call it, baaasil.) I added a drizzle of oil, some oregano, sea salt and fresh pepper. Mmmm.....

I believe you are referring to beef carpaccio, no? It's delicious with basil, fresh mozzarella and tomatoes, along with just a drizzle of really expensive olive oil. For me, the simpler the cuisine, the more heavenly the experience.

J

Post 11

Tuesday, September 21, 2004 - 6:22pm

Jennifer, brilliant article - absolutely spot on. For a while, on a dating website, I had the phrase "Confidence is good, competence is better" and you would not believe the responses I got going on and on about it. Which is not to say it is a good pick-up line, but rather, that I think MANY people secretly and not-secretly feel the same way.

And you are both making me dizzy with the food talk. About two weeks ago I started eating the Atkins way, which is not that bad but there are a few things I am absolutely missing. WINE would be foremost on this list.

Post 12

Tuesday, September 21, 2004 - 6:27pm

Thanks Ashley. It is encouraging to hear that you got a positive response from such a statement. Very encouraging, indeed.

I recommend you take a look at South Beach as an alternative to Atkins. Despite its trendy name, it really is a healthful way to eat, and very rational. (I was violently ill and lethargic on the Atkins plan.) Oh, and you can have wine. :D

**************************************

Adam, I did not want to let your thoughtful comment go unrecognized. Thank you so much for that. I know you are appreciative of fine cuisine, as you so avidly displayed in Vancouver. Since you give such high praise to that supermarket, I may have to come out to California to see it for myself!

Jennifer

(Edited by Jennifer Iannolo on 9/21, 6:39pm)

(Edited by Jennifer Iannolo on 9/22, 2:13am)

Post 13

Wednesday, September 22, 2004 - 2:17am

Adam B.,

Thank you too! I'm glad you take the time to praise those who are worthy. It can sometimes have a domino effect on a person's outlook and self-esteem, and propel them to even greater heights. To ignore such efforts is to relegate them to the land of mediocrity.

BTW, I started out as a Mac aficionado, but was switched over to a PC with my last company, and the laptop was a parting gift. I don't enjoy it as much as a Mac, but have learned to live with it.

But do I miss my sassy little iBook? You betcha. It even had a handle, and was color coordinated with my Handspring Visor. ;)

Next purchase will definitely be a Mac.

Post 14

Wednesday, September 22, 2004 - 6:23am

Great article! It is so rare to find competence and customer service in ANY industry these days! When I do, it is like a special treat. Shouldn't be, but it is. You have a wonderful Sense of Life!

Post 15

Wednesday, September 22, 2004 - 10:08am

You know, a girl could get addicted to praise like this from such worthy individuals. But then I would be defying my own values, so I'll just revel in it and enjoy it on the occasions when it is offered. :)

It is so gratifying to be understood. Mille grazie, SOLOists!

Jennifer

Post 16

Thursday, September 23, 2004 - 10:59pm

If you guys ever want to explore the opposite side of the spectrum, hoard your spittle and go over to this Site:
http://www.customerssuck.com

Post 17

Monday, March 14, 2005 - 6:45pm

This is the lovliest article I've yet read on SOLO. On a topic that is too rarely discussed, particularly in Objectivist circles. (Maybe it's taken as 'given'?)

Joyous and delightful!

Jeff

Post 18

Tuesday, March 15, 2005 - 7:19am

Thank you, Jeff! :)

Wednesday, March 16, 2005 - 6:53pm