Inside the Mind of a Megalomaniac

Inside the Mind of a Megalomaniac
by Luke Setzer

Citizens of Planet Earth, we face a horrible public enemy. We confront a creature that has dominated the world for hundreds of years. This monster has controlled the minds of the people everywhere. Heroic efforts to slay this beast have been made in vain, and it continues to rear its ten-horned head.

This beast is not an animal we can cage and kill. It is a virus. It has multiplied and mutated over many generations. It has infected a huge segment of the people, mutating them into creatures who still dare to call themselves human.

This virus itself we cannot isolate in a test tube for study. We cannot create an injection by which to inoculate the people from its harms. It still spreads from person to person, unchecked, feeding upon the passions of the people themselves.

Today, this virus threatens all life on Mother Earth. It has led to a decay of morality. It has led to a culture that puts the "me" before the "we." It encourages consumption at the expense of Mother Earth. It has led the people to exalt the individual at the expense of the collective.

Of what do I speak? I mean a virus of the mind, an idea that emerged from the swamps of the so-called "Enlightenment" era from that mad social "scientist" John Locke. John Locke and his henchmen fabricated this idea from thin air. They spread it through that character-corrupting machine, the printing press. The human race has paid the price ever since.

What is this idea? What is this notion, this drooling beast that has brought the people so much sorrow?

In two words, it is individual rights—individual rights!

It is this preposterous notion that each man, or woman, is an island, that each stands alone unto himself or herself.

The harsh reality, ladies and gentlemen, is that an "individual" cannot possibly make his own decisions wisely. To prove my point, look at yourselves. Look at yourselves! You are fat, obese, overweight, and roly-poly! You eat more than you burn, pure and simple. It is, however, not your fault. This epidemic of fatness results directly from the "big lie"—the virus of the mind that says that "individuals" should have the "liberty" to make their own life choices.

Clearly, you cannot even manage your own weight effectively. What does that failure say about your capacity to handle firearms, or alcohol, or automobiles? Do you really think you can handle anything yourself without absolute guidance from a noble and benevolent despot?

This monster of "individual rights," I tell you, has led to the monstrous injustices we see today: Obesity, inequality and environmental destruction.

We face a critical juncture. We need a worthy leader. We need someone willing to save this planet from its imminent destruction ... to do what we must do without hesitation ... without mercy.

I am just the man to turn the tide of our deadly situation.

We must eradicate for all time this destructive notion that the "individual" has any worth whatsoever.

We can clearly see that even the most basic human function—eating—is too much for the "individual" to handle. We need to put an end to this deadly notion of "individual rights" in favor of worthy collective goals.

I am just the man to make that happen ... and let me tell anyone who dares to consider himself an "island" that you are nothing—we are everything.

We do not need "freedom." We need an all-powerful ruler—someone who will keep us all marching on the one straight and true path.

I am just the man for the job!

I say to any "individuals" hearing these irrefutable facts:

If you still cling to the evil notion that you have the "natural right" to make your own choices about anything, rest assured that when we elect me as World Chancellor, we will adjust your attitude—permanently.

I am the right man for the job!

So vote for me! Vote for me for World Chancellor! I promise that I will bring Jean-Jacques Rousseau's noble vision of the social contract to fruition. As your duly elected absolute ruler, I will assure that all the problems caused by this terrible reversal of human progress—this despicable notion of "individual rights"—will meet the same swift termination that I will deliver to all of today's so-called "intellectuals" who advocate "individualism."

To those of you who dare to stand in the way of the general will of the people, I say:

"To the gas chambers—go!"

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