"Give It Away?!"
by Bob Palin
This is a true story.
I was raised Catholic. Fortunately, my parents were not fanatics about it. In our household, religion was generally relegated to attending Mass on Sundays, not eating meat on Fridays, and going to Catholic school for indoctrination by the nuns.
On Sundays, my Dad would shop the area for the church with the shortest Mass. You see, some priests gave longer sermons than others and were slower than others in saying the Mass. We would usually get to the church a few minutes after Mass started, sit in the back, and when the communion procession started towards the front of the church, we would proceed out the back door, obligation fulfilled.
During Mass, I would go through all the motions expected of me, standing, kneeling, sitting and being quiet. But my mind was normally elsewhere, thinking about comic books or girls, depending on my age at the time. I didn’t usually pay much attention to the sermons but one in particular stands out clearly in my mind, even decades after the event.
I must have been maybe thirteen years old or so. This priest stands at the pulpit and starts lecturing on his favorite subject, giving money to the church. He humorously, though not intentionally so, started by saying how rarely he talked about money. I found this funny because he talked about money every week. But this time, the whole sermon was about giving. It was the usual altruist stuff about giving being a virtue.
I don’t remember the exact words, but he said something like this: “You must reach into your pocket and give! Give not just until it hurts but even after it hurts. Put your hand deep into your pocket, deep into your purse, take out your money and give it away!”
From somewhere in the church, a little girl, of maybe four or five years of age, shouted in astonishment, “Give it away?!”
The entire assemblage erupted in laughter as the priest, taken aback, his face turning red, stood humiliated as if someone had pointed out he was standing naked before the crowd in a reenactment of The Emperor’s New Clothes.
It took the priest a moment but he shouted angrily, “Yes, I said give it away!” He then, in a less than composed manner, finished his sermon.
I never saw this little girl and don’t know what became of her. But I have high hopes that she continued to question the false and destructive concepts of altruism as she grew older. She was off to a wonderful start as an independent thinker and on this particular day she was a hero to me.
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