Rebirth of Reason


A Radical Proposal
by James Kilbourne

While watching President Bush’s news conference after his second term election, I was suddenly hit with a radical idea. I still tremble slightly at the thought of bringing it up, as I know it will infuriate many people and I will definitely feel their wrath.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I have scooped the press and unearthed the secret plan George Bush has for his second term. And, boy, is it sneaky! Kerry would never have stooped so low.

I propose an absolutely un-thought-of approach to discerning GWB’s real scheme:

I propose that if you want to know what George W. Bush REALLY thinks of issues and want to know what his agenda REALLY is for a second term, that you watch this news conference, or read one of his speeches. I know it is a radical proposal, but I think it deserves an airing. You’ve tried everything else. Give it a shot.

But first, let me provide some background. Here, in essence, is the give and take of this news conference:

PRESS: “Okay. Now that the election is over, what is it that you REALLY plan to do during your second term?”

GWB: “Do you remember my speech last January?” (bored sigh). “How about the one I gave in April?” (another bored sigh). “Do you remember the speech that I have gave every day since the Republican Convention?” ( annoyed sigh). “That’s what I plan to do.”

PRESS (later, among themselves): “Well, I guess it is too much to expect him to just come out and tell us, but we’ll dig until we find out what he REALLY wants. It’s going to be hard work, so we'd better split up the tasks. Peter will interview that whistleblower at Halliburton who knows what Cheney is REALLY feeding Bush about the war. Tom knows that woman who cleans house for Condoleezza Rice, so now we will get the scoop on how much we are paying our “allies” for their support. And Dan ... Well, Dan doesn’t know much, but he is a good writer and has a great imagination and truly inspiring vitriol. Maybe he can get Shirley MacLaine to get in touch with Daniel Patrick Moynihan to get the REAL plan for gutting Social Security.”

Okay, we all know that surprises occur and changes are made to the best-laid plans. However, I think that if you put this article in your calendar dated January 1, 2009, you will marvel at my prophetic powers. Looking back from that date, you will remember that GWB:

1) Kept the pressure on the enemy in the War on Terror; was relentless in tracking down terrorists and consistent in pressuring countries that harbor and support terrorists.

2) Consistently insisted that democracies replace the authoritarian regimes in the Middle East.

3) Fought for significant tax reform that broadened the tax-paying base, lowered margins and deductions, and simplified tax collection. Perhaps, he was so bold as to attempt to replace the income tax with a sales tax.

4) Proposed and achieved the first step in changing Social Security from a 20th century public welfare government program into 21st century private investment program.

5) Worked towards making individuals responsible for their medical care in an effort to bring market forces into healthcare.

You know, it isn’t really too bad a plan. What a shame that he had to introduce it such a sleazy manner.
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