Have Yourself A Very Selfish Christmas
by Dustin Hawkins
As that special time of the year once again approaches, it is important to remember that Christmas is one of the most selfish times of the year. And that is a good thing.
Throughout the year I constantly hear stories about people who give their time to help those in need, do things for people whom they love, and donate items to charitable groups and causes. Attached to these stories is how all of these things are done “selflessly” or “altruistically.” Nonsense. One person transferring his wealth or time to another individual without gaining any concrete product or service in return does not constitute a selfless act. What it does constitute is quite the opposite.
What is often ignored as a tool of selfishness is: emotion. People relate selfishness to the words money, greed, and ownership but never to feelings of joy, love, and worth when in fact there is little distinction between either in the realm of the selfish.
So, what does one selfishly gain by helping others in need? When you ask people why they help others they often respond with answers such as: “I wanted to help them”; “I felt bad for their cause”; “It makes me feel good.” Me, I, Me, I, Me, me, me! When a person gives, he does so because it makes him feel good about himself. He is massaging his own emotions. It’s a selfish high. By dropping that ten-dollar bill into the Salvation Army bucket the selfish response gained is: “I may have helped someone today. I feel good about that.” In order for one to selflessly give that ten-dollar bill, emotional attachment would have to be absent. If one gains something from doing something, that act cannot be done selflessly. Whether what is gained is of concrete or abstract value makes no difference.
To give selflessly is to give without emotion, to have no feelings backed up behind the effort one puts forth. Perhaps this concept is what is hardest for non-Objectivists to understand. Selfishness has gained a bad reputation by those people who claim to be unselfish, but what people fail to realize is that all actions are done selfishly. Give me any situation, involving any person, and I will prove that that person and that action he is doing is either fully selfish or fully emotionless.
An acquaintance of mine took me up on this offer. Her act of “selflessness” was: “I would be willing to die for my daughter. I would be willing to jump in front of a train so that she may live. How can you tell me that is a selfish act?” I wasted little time in disproving that her willingness to die for her child was selfless by asking the simple question, “Why?” Her response, “I want her to…” I stopped her there and thanked her for proving my point. If “I” and “want” are not the two most selfish words in the dictionary, I do not know which words are.
Selfless giving would require that one gives without regard to the emotional aspect received from the act deemed as selfless. Why would a woman buy her spouse a new car and not some unknown person living three blocks down the street? Only a selfish person would do that; a selfless person could make no distinction between the loved one and the person across town. That the woman worked hard to earn the money to buy the car for her loved one does not in itself constitute selflessness. She is gaining something. Perhaps, by buying her husband the car it makes him happy, and the pleasure she gains from making the one she loves happy is her reward.
So this season, buy selfishly. When you buy your girlfriend that necklace, or your boyfriend that set of golf clubs, respect the fact that this is selfish giving. You are showing your love, your selfish love, and it makes you feel good. With any luck your loved ones and friends will be just as selfish as you. And I wouldn’t want it any other way.
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